[W.Willow] The Tree That Can't Be Moved [Dan]

[Professor William Vaid]

Things at Hogwarts? Well, if a news reporter was asking for the Daily Prophet, you wouldn't tell them half of the things that were going on in that place. Wayward students attacking others, teachers going haywire, suits of armour attacking folk, not to mention portraits being rather rude and spitting at people and shouting obscenities at passing students. Something has started in Hogwarts, and it was sending everyone cuckoo.

Dan, the poor headmaster has been up to his eyeballs in work since he had taken the job and things didn't look like they were getting any better for him or the school. Will had seen him less and less around the school, and he couldn't help but think he was running himself into the ground. Hufflepuffs were hard-working but this wasn't just taking the biscuit, it was taking the whole jar.

Saturday afternoon came, and Will had spent the morning with Hannah simply watching her and writing down her visions. It wasn't exactly the best day he had with Hannah, but at least it was something. It was after dinner that he retired to his classroom to mark a few remaining homeworks that had been handed in. With all work out the way, Will was now free to play, and with a immovable grin on his face, he swaggered to the headmasters office, knocking on the door and opening it, not saying a work but simply grabbing Dan's coat from the hanger and throwing it at him. A sign for drinking...

A few hours later they were still sat at the bar of the Three Broomsticks chuckling away at each other.
"Dan seriously, I've never been so hiccup embarrassed in my entire life...Tha- bloody Hubbles cousin of yours. I'll never trust 'im wiv a badger again...the little swine" Will chuckle as he slurred his words and knocked back the last of his drink. His eyes were half open as he wobbled about on his bar stool only to lean back and fall right off it onto his back. Frowning and looking around, he looked up at a laughing dan and sat up.
"Watchya doin' up there Girt, I mean Dan?" he said

[Professor Daniel Hubbles]

The Minister of Magic had wanted a full report on the happenings at Hogwarts after numerous complaints had been arriving into the ministry from disgruntled parents. The only problem was that Dan did not know where to start. He sat at his desk, quill in hand poised over a sheet of blank parchment trying to find the words and even after half an hour of humming and expletives’ Dan was about to give up. But his savour came in the form of William Vaid.

The Headmaster did not need to think twice when it came to the decision of going to the pub, if anything a letter to the Minister may come quicker if he had a little bit of alcohol in him even if it would mean his handwriting and spelling would be a little more worse for wear. So instead of writing a vital letter Dan Hubbles found himself sitting in the Three Broomsticks for hours with his best mate consuming a fair bit of liquor.

“He never!” Dan howled with laughter, banging his fist on the table as a sign of his enjoyment of the story. The shaking of the table sent a few glasses toppling over and in an attempt to save them Dan fumbled around knocking more empty glasses over in the process. He expected a sting of abuse to come flying his way but instead all he heard was a thud and then seeing Will sitting on the barroom floor.

With eyes filling with tears of laughter Dan slipped off his bar stool and bent down towards his mate dragging him to his feet. “Come on mate, I fink it is time we left the good people of this pub in peace.” With a snort Dan waved around at a few random people who in turn gave him looks of puzzlement. “Ciao…bon voyage…Shalom…Adios!”

[Professor William Vaid]

With one eye half open and the other fully closed, Will was not looking as good as he usually was that's for sure. Hannah would just laugh at him and call him an idiot and he didn't blame her. The poor woman would have to deal with him when they got back to Hogwarts, and that was a job Will was glad he didn't have thrust upon him. Being lifted up by a less drunk than himself but still drunk Dan, Will stumbled and clamped his arm around Dan's shoulder as he heard him saying his goodbyes to the bar. Turning around slightly, Will managed a wave and a burp to the good people of Hogsmeade before trying to repeat what Dan had said.

"Cow, Bun Voy-aged...Scallop, Idiots!....wait what?!" he said in a high voice, the last turning to Dan wondering why he was reeling off a list of random items and words at the townsfolk before shrugging and waving as he was pulled out of the pub. The fresh air hit him hard in the face and his lazy eyelids soon widened with the force of the crisp air.

"Blimey...." he said, feeling his face.
"Why did you wet me?" he continued before stumbling up the cobbled street. Looking back at Dan, he suddenly felt like he was thirteen all over again on his first visit to Hogsmeade where Dan and Warren were with him. Grinning wildly, he began to run (even if it was uneven and wobbling all over the street) down the road and shouting to Dan over his shoulder.
"Come on Hubbles, keep up with me you old bag!" he managed to say before bursting out in a fit of giggles.

[Professor Daniel Hubbles]

Over the years Dan had learnt how to be the responsible member of the drunken party simply him being the one that was manhandled out of the bar before he either threw up or passed out. So as friends did for one another Dan let his fellow Professor out of the pub and into the cold night time October air. The last time Dan had strutted his stuff down the cobbled high street of Hogsmeade in October was when he bumped into Dia and brought the two of the back together…tonight was most defiantly different circumstances.

Well the world was still spinning and he had an urge to be sick but this time it was not out of sheer happiness and love for his wife, no if Dia had seen him now she would have been ashamed…although Dan could only hope she would see the funny side of it also. It was not everyday you got to see the Headmaster of Hogwarts running after the Potions master, arms flailing around madly, shouts of abuse flowing so easily out of their mouths and all in all acting like a couple of second years.

“You can run but you can’t – ouch!” Had this been first thing in the morning and all Dan had drunk was a cup of tea then he would have caught up with Will easily. However it was late at night and they had been to the pub so it was no surprise that Dan was now lying on the floor after tripping up over his own feet. However almost as quickly as he had fallen over the man was back on his feet again trying to act as if nothing had happened and thankfully the alcohol was numbing the pain in his ankle which in the morning turned a very nasty shade of purple!

Jogging up to the giggling Will Dan straightened his jacket and brushed the dirt off his trousers still acting as if nothing had happened. “Right…are we moving.” He pointed further up the street before putting his best foot forward, which ironically was his injured one, and carried on up towards the castle.

[Professor William Vaid]

It was ridiculous to see the Headmaster of Hogwarts and the Potions Professor acting this way, like they were still students when they were clearly meant to be respected individuals, but if they didn't act like kids once in a while they would be older quicker, and neither of them wanted that. Not only was it odd to see them two 'adults' misbehaving, but they were both Hufflepuffs, and that was just odd in it's own case.

Hearing an ouch come from Dan, Will stopped for a second to see Dan straighten up and come running at him again. Will raised his eyebrows in surprise and started coughing and laughing again. He coughed so hard he was almost sick, but he simply paused for a moment and let the feeling pass.
"Nope, it's staying in. I think it's made a home" he said talking about the bile that was rising in his stomach before he started laughing stupidly once again.

They were headed back to the Castle when Will caught sight of the Whomping Willow and paused to watch it flailing slightly, fighting the cold wind. He started chuckling in a high pitched tone as he stared at the tree for a moment. His laughter was that of a mischievous child, and he pulled his wand out of his inside jacket pocket before looking back at Dan.
"Come on Dan, we used to annoy this tree so bad. I think it'd time we taught it a lesson. I say...we....climb it!" He grinned, casting lumos so he could see where Dan was.

[Professor Daniel Hubbles]

The castle grew closer, the lights from the many windows flickering in the darkness and already h could hear the sounds of the castle. It was not really a straight line that Dan and Will took, nor did it stick to the conventional footpaths and it was no surprise to the headmaster that they ended up someway off in the middle of the castle grounds and standing next to the Whomping Willow.

“Climb the tree?” Dan titled his head to one side and eyed his friend suspiciously; it was almost as if for the briefest of moments Dan was starting to see a bit of sense. His gaze passed from Will towards the Whomping Willow, it branches moved slowly and had it not been known to be a magic tree you would have thought it just to be the wind. With a small ’hum’ Dan turned back to look at his best mate, a wild glint in his eye and what could only be called a vicious smile. “You’re on!”

Despite the cold weather Dan took off his jacket, throwing it down on the wet earth and striding forward towards the Whomping Willow with great purpose. He rolled up the sleeves on his long sleeved shirt and rubbed his hands together in the hope of trying to get some feeling into them before he started the climb.

“Come on Will, give me a leg up.” There was a second of silence before all the seriousness on the mans face vanished and he started to giggle away at the foot of the tree. “Give me a leg up.” He managed to wheeze once again in between fits of laughter.

[Professor William Vaid]

Will looked back at Dan to see his serious face for a moment, making Will frown. It was Dan, he could not of changed that much already, and for a moment Will stood there studying Dan's face waiting for more of a clue to what he was about to say.
"Come on Dan, for merlin's sake, you've not become a suit already have you?" he mocked before his friends face changed and he began giggling and attempting to climb the tree on his own.

Will laughed as he watched Dan, the supposed headmaster of Hogwarts attempting to climb the most violent tree in the world, the Whomping willow. The entire idea to an outsider was absurd, but to them, the drunk duo who were reliving their childhood dreams of being able to climb the thing, was simply logical. That's what drink does.

As Will stood watching Dan struggle for a moment, laughing maniacally at him as he kept sliding down the trunk, Will's sides hurt from laughing so much, and like a naughty schoolboy, he raised his finger to his lips and shushed them both before tiptoeing over to Dan and cracking his fingers.

"Alright Mister Headmaster, here we go!" he heaved cupping his hands underneath Dan's foot and boosting him up accompanied by plenty of grunts from both of them, not to mention childish giggles.
"Bloody hell Dan, your much heavier than a few years back you've been eating too many of Dia's home cooked meals!" he grunted before wiping his hands on his trousers. Dan was not much further up the tree than when standing next to it, and standing back to admire their handywork, Will got tripped up by the Willows branch. Looking up at the stars for a moment, he saw the branch coming down towards him, and he only just realised what was happening before he managed to roll out the way and stumble to the trunk to safety. In his horror and rush to get to the trunk he headbutted it and fell over once again.

"Bloody 'ell. Who put this trunk here?" he said, blatantely trying to be funny and just ending up bursting out laughing as he rubbed the top of his head.
"That's gonna be sore in the morning" he continued as he lifted his hand up to Dan to pull him up.

[Professor Daniel Hubbles]

It seemed to take a while for drunken Will to actually get his butt into gear and get a move on over towards Dan. The Whomping Willow strangely enough seemed to be rather still and allowed Will to stumble along and give Dan that all important boost up the tree, not that it was much of a boost but it helped. However as normal with Will he could do nothing without making some sort of comment about one thing or another. With one arm wrapped around a branch Dan pointed a rather wavering hand at Will.

“Now listen here –hic- this is all –hic- muscle.” With a groan Dan took a deep breath to try and stop the hic ups, his shoulder convulsing every time one occurred, yet the man only managed to hold his breath for twenty seconds before he started to gasp for air. “I need –hic- a glass of water!”

So almost as if there was a glass of water waiting for him at the top of the heights branch in the willow tree Dan stared to fumble around trying to climb the blasted thing. There was only one slight problem; Will had woken the bloody thing up! If he had seen the potion masters little nibble display of avoiding action Dan would have no doubt been double bent with laughter…the only problem was he was clinging onto a branch that was now moving. It was like he was in a rode, desperately clinging onto a wild horse and with a few pints inside of his stomach it was not the best sensation. With a yelp Dan was flung head first off the branch and crashing into the grassy bank opposite the tree in a heap.

“Well shag a hag, the earth is moving and not in a good way.” Dan shakily got to his feet only to topple over seconds later back onto the grass. “I think I am going to be sick.”

[Professor William Vaid]

All the while this ridiculous sight of two Hogwarts professors attempting to climb the infamous Whomping Willow, Will was laughig so hard and deep that he began to get stomach ache. It did not help the fact that he had just headbutted the tree by accident nor that the fact that Dan had just been flung off. It really did seem like the pair were hogwarts students again themselves.

But drinking isn't all it's cracked up to be. Will knew he would be feeling the affects tommorow morning and was just thankful he didn't have a class to teach. It wouldn't do his reputation much good to stumble into class later than the latest of students, honk up in a cup and mumble about an ageing potion now would it? The mere thought was almost enough to make him stop fooling around and to just sleep the alcohol off in the safety of his room...almost.

Looking back at Dan as he stood up from his free ride from the whomping willow, he doubled over, clutching his stomach with one arm trying to contain his hearty laugh. The night had been absolutely hilarious from the start and it seemed being with Dan had just tickled his funny bone.
"Just like old times mate, just like old times" he managed to cough as a wide grin showed on his face. He patted Dan on the back before squeezing his shoulder.

"What will Dia think aye? You've ruined your tie!" he said, pointing down to his muddy tie only to flick his finger up Dan's nose and begin chuckling once again.
"You'll never learn!"

[Professor Daniel Hubbles]

Dan did not look forward to the day when he would have to answer questions from his children about what he did when he was younger or worst of all when they get to a certain age and tell them that drink is bad. Mainly because he really had no right in saying ‘Don’t do it’…maybe Dia will be the one who has to give them that lecture. Alcohol really does make you do very stupid things and this was a perfect example as despite the fact that Dan was sure he might have broken a rib or two he was still getting to his feet and after wobbling for a few seconds the Headmaster strode towards the Whomping Willow with extra vigour.

Not that he got very far, it seemed as though that in their rowdiness and pathetic attempts to climb the tree it was now not being very friendly and had become very animated, so much so that Dan was at least two meters away from the tree trunk when a root burst through the ground tripping the man up. Knowing that this time he had been defeated Dan crawled on his hands and knees back over towards the laughing Will and started to giggle with him…not that he knew what Will was laughing at but it must have been funny.

“Will…I’m so drunk.” Dan laughed some more as he sat up straight and started to wave his hands around almost to prove his point. It was at this point when Will pointed out about Dan’s tie and the gullible fool fell for the joke, looking down this nose was soon flicked with some force by Will who once again was finding the whole situation hysterical.

“OUCH!! Will you sod!” Dan turned around and shoved his best mate in the arm with as much force and his drunken and tired self could muster. “I could get you fired for that, yes I could, abusing the Headmaster, that is what that is.”

[Professor William Vaid]

Will stumbled backwards slightly due to laughing so hard and fell hard on his butt. Normally falling onto the ground with such a force would have hurt but when you’re that drunk you tend not to feel half as much as you should do, both physically and mentally. Hell, it’s a miracle if you can string two words together. Will laughed so hard he was sure he would end up coughing up a kidney or end up getting a hernia of some sorts; either way all this laughing could not be good for the system.

Will knew Dia from childhood, next door neightbours, and he knew she would not be very impressed when Dan went home stinking of booze, stumbling all over the place, more than likely being sick and mumbling words that sounded like another language. Dia would definitely not be a happily married woman tonight. Nor was it just that he was drunk but also the fact he had ruined a tie.

“You’re drunk? So are you!” Will snorted slightly as he rolled his head back and ended up with blurry vision and misjudging how far he leant back. He soon ended up looking up at the stars and his chest was beginning to ache from the violent laughter that was bursting out of it.

“Fire me? Fire me! You wouldn’t ‘av the guts Hufflepuff headmaster!” He said raising his voice slightly yet still in amusement. As he jolted upwards he got a sudden head rush and had to sit back down again, his hand placing right into a patch of mud. A look of horror shot across his face as he slowly looked over at Dan with terror in his eyes.
“Oh merlin, Dan? Please tell me that i’ve just put my hand in mud!”

[Professor Daniel Hubbles]

Waddling over toward the Potions master on his knees Dan could feel the coldness of the damp earth seeping through the thin material. In the morning he would wake up and when he would go to put on his suit the sudden memories of the night before would come flooding back with all the grass and dirt stains on it.

“Will, you just did not put you hand in mud.” He grinned at his friend like a five year old would if he had just said something his old sibling had wanted knowing that cookie would be his reward. However Dan knew, even in this drunken state Will was not going to give him a cookie, instead his sweet little treat was that Will was also sitting in the mud!

With a content little smile on his face Dan swayed from side to side in the breeze, copying the motion of the braches on the willow tree that stood proudly behind them. He knew he was going to come crashing down from this drunken high any moment now, he always found that once he has drunk a fair bit and then went into the fresh air it was worse for Dan then smoking a few illegal substances…although the feeling did not last that long as he slowly started to sober up.

“I…I…er…” His eyelids seemed to grow heavy and drop and he dropt backwards off his knees and onto his back, looking up at the stars in the night sky above him. “I should be getting back to Dia. I said I was going for a quick drink and that was…”He lifted his arm above his head and tried to get his eyes to focus on his watch, “…hours ago. She is going to kill me, I may stay here for the night.”