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Post by Alex Doyle on Jan 27, 2008 18:52:10 GMT
Alex knew the two of them standing here, embracing one another, at this moment in time... Wasnt right. He knew she was confused, and he knew he wasnt helping her by letting her stand like this. Alex knew he should do the right thing and walk away from her, until she knew what she wanted, until she had figured things out. If she then decided she wanted him, he would be overjoyed and probably skywrite something along the lines of, Yippeee! Though if she decided he wasnt the one for her, he would still stay by her side... As a friend.
The past few years had done nothing to relieve Alex of his feelings for the Hufflepuff, only entice them and make them bigger. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, He thought, Now i know what that means. He tried to forget, he tried to be able to look at her as a friend, but every time he saw her in lessons or saw her walking down the corridor, he just wanted to kiss her there and then, with no care about who saw. He looked down and to the left at the ground, he both loved and hated feeling like this. The feeling of excitement, but dread at the same time. The sick feeling, the nerves, confusion, happiness and pain, all these were welling up inside of him and he felt ready to explode. Though he doubted it was a patch on how she was feeling.
Alex didnt say anything further as she unlocked her arms from his neck, and he found his hung limply at his sides, his eyes still on the ground to the left, his breath was ragged and shaky, but at the same time, rather calm. He no longer had the dire urge to pace, in fact he didnt know what he wanted to do. He looked up as he felt a splash on his cheek, at first he thought his eyes had failed him and were crying, but as he looked up, he realised it was the first sign of rain. And now we have to deal with rain...
He saw her look back to the village, and knew she wanted to leave. He gave a weak smile as she started to speak again, he knew this was only confusing her and she needed to clear her head. The rain started to come down heavily, as his hair suck to his forehead and beads of rain water dribbled off the back of his hair and down his neck. He was soon throuragly soaked as he listened to her.
"You dont understand, do you?" He asked slolwy, "You do make me happy, you always have done." He smiled at her, "Just having your friendship is enough to make me happy, as long as i can claim to have that. The other choices are yours"
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Post by Girty Hubbles on Jan 27, 2008 22:05:22 GMT
Slowly drops of rain began to fall from the sky and lightly hit Girty on the top of the head. Her clothes started to show the patched areas where the water hit and as the rain steadily increased her clothes turned a darker shade and bringing down the overall body temperature of her body. The sun may have been warm for May but the rain was still cold as it made its way from the Scottish mountains. Blinking away the rain drops Girty tried to look up at Alex, she was being forced to squint and her vision of her Ravenclaw slowly became impaired. In the end she could just see the blurred outline of Alex and hear what he had to say.
The problem she then found was that she was smiling yet again, many people may not notice how this could actually be a problem but for Girty it was one of the forest things that could happen. There was now a second seed of doubt, the doubt that maybe she was doing the wrong thing by walking away from Alex and that Simon would take it as well as she had been planning. Her mind was a jungle with thoughts twisting between each other blocking the path to the right answer.
“Well Alex you have my friendship and a special place in my heart.”
She gave him a playful punch on the shoulder suddenly becoming aware that that was just what Thom did to her in the forest all those years ago, it was raining then too and the punch had meant the same thing. Biting her lip Girty looked down to her shoes knowing that she was going to regret what she was about to do once again but she could not end the meting on a childish masculine gesture of a jovial punch. Looking up Girty walked gingerly over towards Alex watching the rain run down the side of his face and drip off the end of his nose. The smile filled her face once again as she raised her hand up and ran her hand over his stubble tracing the outline of his face and she paused as she reached his lips, she needed to taste them one last time, to keep her going as she tried to sort out the mess of her mind.
“This is to for the good time.”
She mumbled as for the second time today Girty stood on her tip toes and kissed Alex, although this time it was a tender kiss. She did not want it to seem wanting or suggestive Girty wanted this small kiss to show to Alex what he actually meant to her
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Post by Alex Doyle on Jan 27, 2008 22:41:24 GMT
Alex let the rain water glide over him, he let it soak him and chill him to the core. It didnt make the feeling in his heart go away, nor did it make the sickness stop, but it gave him something else to concentrate on if nothing else. He wasnt looking in the direction of Girty, his friend as that was all he could claim to be, even if in his heart, he wanted to call her something else. There were thoughts running through his head, so many unspoken things that he wanted to speak, and yet, now was not the right time to say them and he knew it wasnt.
Alex wasnt one to give up on things he wanted and everyone who knew him, knew that. Though he had been holding back all this time, his heart felt lighter, but still heavy now it was out for he did not see the good that could come of it. He put his hand in his pocket he felt something there, he didnt know what it was but he had an inkling. Something he wrote a long time ago he had almost forgotten he had put it there.
"..." Silence..."Friendship" He looked at her, "Thanks.." He tried to smile at her though knew it wasnt working.
He felt the punch on his arm and knew that punch, it was a 'Were-friends" punch and nothing more. He sighed, he was beginning to understand that, friends were all they were. No kisses, no gestures of feelings would change that. Or it was how he was beginning to feel. Still, friendship, even if it killed him, was better than nothing.
She was infront of him, he could see her clearly. He flinched as she touched him, not because he didnt want her too, but because it hurt him so much when she did. He closed his eyes and tried to tell himself he was going to be okay, he could get through this, he was strong he could do anything... But it wasnt that simple. He took a ragged breath and opened his eyes, ready to say something, but she put her lips on his and once more he found himself lost in her, he kissed her back for a brief second before pulling back and walking further down the hill. He couldnt do it, not yet, not like this. Not again...
"I keep trying, you know?" He turned to look at her, he was once again confused, after she had said all that about needed to figure things out, she kisses him again, "I keep trying to find my way, each time i think i have, i lose my way again" He sighed and turned back round, "I miss you, everyday, and i have done for the past three years, i miss you more each day and it hurts a little more every day too" He sighed. He didnt know what to do, "I know im a little stubborn sometimes, to proud and whatever..." Okay, not sure where he was going with that sentance... "Everywhere, no matter where i am i.. i get so confused" He put his hand on his head, "Your on my mind constantly, all the time, no matter what im doing and its so hard to concentrate on anything else..."
He turned back around and walked to her, "You dont know how much, all i want to do is hold you, try to make the pain in both our hearts go away but we both know its not that easy" He looked down and sighed, "I dont know where to go when im not with you, i dont know what to do..." He looked at her deep in the eyes, "All i know is, i want you so much it hurts, sometimes too much for me to bear" He smiled at her, "But... You need to know what you want first, as ive said and if your choice isnt me... I'll get over it in time... Just, put yourself first and find what you want"
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Post by Girty Hubbles on Jan 28, 2008 19:44:04 GMT
Alex broke away from the kiss and Girty looked to the ground not even wanting to look at him, she knew she had done it again she had thrown everything up in the air and it was now falling down upon them as quickly as the rain. After everything she had said about needing time she goes and contradicts everything and kisses him once again, ‘It must be something in the Hubbles genes’ she told her herself as she slowly looked up to try and find Alex ‘Always making rash and stupid decisions never thinking of what is going to happen at the end of it all.’
She listened to his words feeling the guilt increases as he mentioned how he felt about her one again. Girty knew he was trying to make her feel at ease and help her make her decision but Alex had to knew that no matter what he said things could never break down her own bewilderment. She had waited all her time at Hogwarts for the right guy but as she approached her last few months at the school two turn up at the same time and the one she had always dreamed about being with was the one who had to show last. Girty cared about Simon, they clicked both mentally and physically but he never looked at he the same way Alex did, Simon was a gentleman but he had his moments in all her time knowing Alex Girty could never recall a single moment of doubt she had in his personality.
As Alex looked her deeply into her eyes Girty felt her knees go weak and as he smiled at her Girty looked straight up into the sky trying to mask her tears of frustration with the rain. She was trying to control her breathing but once again they were short and sharp as she tried to keep her rage to a minimum. Massaging her left shoulder Girty looked back at Alex, her gaze not as caring as it once had been.
“Stopping being such a gentleman, what ever I do I will most likely cause some grievance. I need to talk to someone who does not know any of you guys…an unbiased opinion.”
Girty knew just who she was going to turn to but the problem was finding them. Lowering her hand from her shoulder Girty sighed and looked at Simon through the rain wondering why things in life could never be simple.
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Post by Alex Doyle on Jan 28, 2008 20:02:17 GMT
"I cant stop Girt!" He told her, trying to ignore the fact that she was looking at him in a way of rage, "It doesnt matter who you choose as long as your happy, I dont care about anything else but that!"
He began to pace again, too many thought rocketing through his mind. 'If she chooses Simon, fine. As long as she is happy, who am I to stand in the way of it?" He didnt stop pacing, though he was pacing so fast he was getting mud all up his jeans leg. "Doesnt mean you wont stop hurting of course, and it might take a while for you to be able to be in the presence of her after this. Damn Doyle, you're mind is totally a mess."
"Just.." He began, he wanted to tell her to go, he wanted to tell her to leave him be. He wanted to tell her to forget about him but he couldnt. She, like Alex, needed time. He had come up here with the intention of finding her, with the intention of having a laugh like they once did, not to end up like this. Not after everything they've been through already. "Why cant I just tell her to be with Simon?" He thought, "She is with him now anyway, techically its unnoficial between them, or so she says... But..." he looked towards her, "She may be in my heart, but I'm not in hers, not as she is in mine... I cant be..." Alex knew he couldnt be the one in her heart, because if he was, she wouldnt need time to think about it.
He stood on the edge of the hill, looking down towards the lake, he could see the ripples in the lake's surface as the rain fell down into it. "Alexander Doyle, you should be the bigger person here, and you know you should. You have as much bravery in you as a Gryffindor does so why dont you use it?"
He turned to look at Girty, his heart welled up as he walked over to her. Taking her hands in his, he leant down and kissed the top of her forehead. He gave her hands a little squeeze before he let go and walked past her, he knew he was doing the right thing here, giving one last look back he said, "Go and talk to your friend" He gave a sad smile, "I'll always be here" He looked back down to hogsmeade before adding, "Always on this hill, with you... Even if you cant see me here... I promise" With that, he began to make his way down towards the village, not too quickly and not too slowly.
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