(Hogsmeade) Atop a Hill

[Girty Hubbles]

This was a new page in their relationship, a new chapter as finally in their seventh year of knowing each other the feelings that had both kept inside had been realised and as Alex held her hand to his chest and she felt the pounding of his heart Girty knew things were never going to be the same again. This hill was not just going to be the place where they would sit as friends it was the scene of their long expected and overdue first kiss. Nothing will be able to take away at memory and that would also play as a negative as there would be no escape from it.

It felt to Girty as if there was a different atmosphere around to two now, only minutes ago they were thinking about the past and laughing but now Girty was aware of herself and did not know how to act properly but the one thing she knew was that she could not show the weight of Simon bring down this moment as she would have to deal with that later after getting a second opinion on it all.

However it must not be forgotten that among all this mixed emotion and worry Girty still was on a high from the kiss and just being with Alex. The smile was still a permanent feature on her face and as Alex sat next to her, he was clearly still overjoyed about it all and as Girty rested her head on his shoulder she gave a small sigh.

“Now that was worth waiting six years for.”

[Alex Doyle]

Alex and Girty had been friends since he first came here, however, he felt like the friendship was only a coverup of how the two of them really felt. His feelings were so strong for her, so strong that all these years of her not knowing, it hurt him badly, a big empty space inside him that had now been filled. Feelings this strong could not be wrong, he was sure of it. This memory would stay with him forever, nothing and no-one could take it away.

He knew there may be problems, he knew her brother might not like it. Brothers usually didnt like their younger sisters with someone, but he didnt see how it would affect them. Alex, in Dan's lessons, never got a feeling as though Dan didnt like him. Though, in all honesty, he didnt care. All that mattered was now, this moment, nothing else. Alex had no worries, he had waited for this, and sometimes he had feared he had waited too long, he sort of figured if Girty ever found out who had sent her that Valentines day card, he would tell her. But she never did figure it out, and when he went to tell her one day, he realised she ws in love with someone else so he bit his tongue.

He felt her rest her head on his shoulder as he looked out towards the lake, he put his arm around her, a smile etched on his features. His eyes were soft and his mind swimming with so many things he wanted to say, and yet he had no words to say them so instead, he stayed quiet. Enjoying the silence after the high. After a while, he spoke five simple words.

"You were worth the wait"

[Girty Hubbles]

The silence was wonderful as it proved that no words needed to be said as the moment had already reached the pinnacle, all their waiting their admiring from a distance and here they were. It was like a dream and Girty feared that she would wake up any moment and find herself in her dorm back at the castle however the next line that was said proved it was not a dream when Alex spoke. If she had been told someone had said that to someone else she would have snorted at such a cheesy line but now the line had been said and about her Girty’s heart bleed for Alex, Simon was becoming a past memory.

Lifting her head off his shoulder Girty put her hand in her pocket and pulled out her little bag of Jelly Beans again and started to much on them and just like before she offered the back over to Alex with a smile. After combing a few flavours together Girty chewed on them thoughtfully as she was tempted to ask Alex a question that she longed to know the answer for, but it sounded so rude so bigheaded so instead she would turn the question onto herself.
Feeling embarrassment take over Girty focused on the brown bag she had in her hand and talked to that instead of Alex.

“You know what. I have liked you all the back in the third year…possibly even the second year.” She gave a soft laugh before carrying on still unable to look at Alex. “I actually was going to ask you to come to the ball with me last year but…but your girlfriend cornered me.”

She felt so pathetic saying all of this; she was telling Alex about her secrets but it was the only way to find out for sure when it was he liked her. She needed to know to reassure herself that this was the right thing that this was not going to be the biggest mistake she had ever made.

[Alex Doyle]

The only sounds hear could hear, were the wind, their breathing, and the sounds of the birds in the far off trees. Occasionally sounds would drift up from Hogsmeade making him, for some reason, glance backwards. He closed his eyes and rested his cheek on her head, sighing as he did so. He had waited almost a lifetime, or it seemed like a lifetime, for this one moment, this one moment of happiness, the happiness he longed to have felt for a long time, and knew it was only her, only Girty that could give it to him. Even if she got up and walked away now, he had known that happiness, and could go to sleep with a smile on his face, well, an even bigger smile.

Alex stirred as she moved and shaking his head a little, he was so comfy a moment ago, Which is quite dangerous Alex, you know you fall asleep easily when your comfy! And you dont want to be falling asleep on the girl you've waited a lifetime for do you? He smiled at this thought, always trust his mind to come up with something stupid! Alex smiled at her, "You know what too many sweet things do to me" he said slyly. Translation meaning, he couldnt eat more than two bgs of jelly beans because too much sweetness sends him loopy, and even though he only had one before, the kiss they both shared wired him more than eight bags of sugar infested sweets could.

Alex looked at her, shock all over his face, You idiot! You... I knew you.... I should have... She liked me all this time and i didnt know! Im an idiot, its official! He smiled at her, thinking now how much different it could have been if he had been honest with her all those years ago, but in a way he was glad he wasnt. Because if he had have been, right now wouldnt have been as special as it was. "I had no idea..." he said, stating the obvious was one of his many talents, "Ah yes, the dreaded Stephanie... I would have accepted... But Steph she... Well, she was always difficult when it came to you" He told her, "Steph knew how close we were and she hated it. She hated the fact there was someone else in my life who i would rather... who i would rather be with..." He sighed and looked away, "Truth is, I only got with Steph because i was hoping it would help me forget my feelings for you" He looked at her and gave her a weak smile, "However, it didnt. It only made me think of you even more... I even went to tell you once, only to find you had fallen for somebody else, so I hid my feelings once more and just... Well I just carried on. Steph was the reason i didnt speak to you much. And in doing so, eventually made me resent her to the fact i couldnt stand to be with her and finished it..." He had no idea why he was telling her this now, it was of little significance or so he thought.

"I've liked you since... Well about three months after we met I began to feel things for you" He told her, "I even sent you an annoymous Valentines Day card in the second year, i thought if you managed to figure it was off me, I'd tell you how i felt... Guess my message was a little more complex than i thought" He laughed and with his arm, pulled her closer to him in a hug and gave her a small kiss on her forehead, "Isnt it amazing how dense children can be?" He smiled at her "We both harboured feelings for one another, and yet hid them from each other..."

[Girty Hubbles]

Girty had almost forgotten what Alex was like on a sugar high, and straight away her mind wondered back to another time on the hill. She had spent her whole allowance for the week month on sweets and they ate so much sugar that day they ended up trying to fly down the hill by flapping there arms, they later joked that it was the wine gums that were making them act like a pair of drunkards. But out of respect for her old friend and thinking that if they did that now they would be arrested she rolled the bag back up and placed them back inside her pocket to eat later when back in the common room.

However this act took a lot longer then she thought it would as Alex started talking, telling her what she wanted to hear and more. He had sent the Valentines card the card she kept for three years, she would read and wish she could meet the sender but all the time he was in front of her, but now the letter was ash in the grate of the Hufflepuff common room after her best mate convinced her to burn it after the rejection of Thom. Alex had Steph to ruin everything and Girty had Thom, if those two people had not been in their lives things would have been made a lot easier. This theory did not ring truer when Alex mentioned how he was going to tell her how he felt when he heard she liked someone else…but who was that someone else.

“You came…you were going to tell me.” Her mouth went dry and she lost the ability to talk. Swallowing hard and licking her lips Girty tried once again. “Who was I with? Simon?”

She needed to know, if it was only recently then she would be content and happy to know it was only a few months but if it was Thom then the loser could carry on rotting in his grave for all she cared he had ruined enough of her life.

[Alex Doyle]

It was a scary thing, Alex on a sugar high, you never knew quite what he would do, which was why he was glad she put them away and didnt offer him anymore. He stayed away from Honeydukes as the mere smell of it was enough to get him going.

Somehow, Alex knew this conversation was not going to go well, and this became apparent as soon as she said Simon's name, Alex didnt even know a Simon, he had no idea Girty knew one either so this was a bit more of a shock for him. Seemed the day was going to be full of them. "Yes I came to tell you, but who's Simon?" He asked confused, "The guy you were in love with back then was that... Whats-his-face? Thom or Tim or whatever he was called"

Girty, back then had Thom and Alex had Steph, two completley different lives, with two completely different people. But it seemed now, to him that she had someone else, someone more recent, and Alex wasnt sure what to make of it either, he wasnt sure if he should be happy someone was in her life, no that was ridiculous, not after what had just happened.

Thoughts were running through his mind and he couldnt help noticing Girty had not answered his question which only put more doubts in his mind, "Girt?"

[Girty Hubbles]

Girty puffed out her cheeks and went slightly pale as Alex said Simon’s name, the whole situation was going from bad to worse with Girty falling over ever hurdle as she went. If Girty had one weakness it was the inability to lie, she either blatantly refused or if she managed to stutter out something she would feel so guilty she would admit to it all and end up in even more trouble. She was finding it hard to look at Alex after the perfect moment they had shared was slowly fading away behind the obvious problem that she was with somebody else.

The nice tickling sensation in his heart had been replaced once again by the stabling pain but this time they were not just stabbing they were trying to claw her heart out. The palms of her hands began to sweat and no matter how much she dried them on her trouser legs it seemed to make no difference, all she could do was hold onto the silence as long as possible believing that someone the wind will blow everything away and she would not have to answer. But as Alex pushed her again she had to answer. Slowly a quite and shaking voice escaped from her lips.

“Simon is…a rouge wizard we met up and have drinks from time to time there is…” Girty broke off and gave a small cough to try and clear her throat. “There was something, he stayed with us at Christmas, I did not want him catching a chill in the forest during the winter in all the snow.”

For some reason Girty felt like if she explained the reason why he was with them, why she had been talking to him and why he spent Christmas with them then maybe Alex might over look the other factors, mainly her stutter over the aspect of whether they were or not together.

[Alex Doyle]

Alex saw her go pale as he mentioned Simon's name and knew instantly something he didnt see before, was going on. Something he had been blinded to, possibly something that would change this moment and tinge the memory into something a lot darker than it should be. Alex wasnt sure how to act, nor was he sure on what to say. Instead, he stood up. Walking left to right and back again, pacing up an down, listening to her words. He knew this moment was too good to be true, he knew it! And yet he let himself be fool enough to believe it was something, something special.. Now he only could think of what an idiot he had been.

So, he was trying to figure this out in his head. It was a little more difficult than he thought. If she had told him this before they had kissed it wouldnt have been bad at all, he would have smiled, hugged his friends and said 'Good for you!' Now he could only pace, he couldnt form any words, and his brain was whizzing with all kinds of things. She had told him, and for that he respected, but she had told him at the way wrong time. This should have been said earlier, not now...

He managed to form thoughts, but that was near enough it for the moment. So... She's with someone... He thought as he still paced, long after she had gone silent, he hadnt looked at her, he was too preoccupied with his own thoughts, She's cheated on this guy, with me... And he's a rogue wizard... Better get your will sorted mate he thought to himself. "Well" He said, his voice hoarse and shaking, "This is... This certainly... Uh..." he cleared his throat, "This certainly complicates things" The hurt, pain and confusion were written in his voice, in his walk and his body language, he didnt know what had happened, one minute they were... it was... Perfect... Now, "There is?" He asked, "Or there was, Something between you two?" He finished and looked at her, "Or is there still something there and you just, for some unknown reason... Do not want to tell me?" He stopped pacing and looked at her, his eyes directly on hers, he bent down and took her hands, "Please, Girty... Just tell me... I can handle it" Lier he thought to himself, knowing the answer already, and not handeling it at all inside his heart.

[Girty Hubbles]

This was worse then the time she had to tell her parents that she had been bitten by a werewolf, there searching gaze the look in their eyes almost begging her to tell them is was not true, Alex even had the pacing right it was just what her farther had done. But this time it felt worse as she could have stopped it, it might not have happened if she had used a bit of common sense and thought before she opened her mouth.
But it had and now yet again Girty was looking at Alex his smile was no longer there and instead he was showing the pain that she had caused and the confusion that was running though his mind. She just wanted to get up, reach out and hold Alex hoping it would make everything better, but she could not help but fear how hard it is going to be to talk to Simon about this.

Alex continued to question her and Girty felt smaller and smaller by the minute. She placed her hands in her pockets and focused on a clump if daisy’s growing near the rock. Everything he was saying was true and she hated it because it just made her feel even worse but she needed to find a leg to stand on she needed to fight her way back and somehow prove to Alex that how he had made her feel today, the sensations that had filled her, the joy of seeing his smile, the touch of his hand, that taste of his lips, they were all things she had dreamed about and now she had them she did not want to lose them…but then neither did she want to lose Simon.

“There is something between us. There has been nothing…nothing to make it official.” She looked up at Alex with pleading eyes in hope he would understand. “He is a guy I have had drinks with and come to care for and Christmas…” Girty blushed slightly “He was just happy to have a roof over his head, a soft bed, warm food and being with some form of family.”

Girty was not longer sitting on the rock, at some point she had stood up and raised her voice and gesturing wildly. She was trying to defend Simon, it was instinct but also she needed to prove to Alex she would have done the same for him, she would always be there for him no matter what as she care for him too but the problem was she was unsure if she liked him more then Simon. Girty could only hope that Alex could take the truth, he said he could but she knew him better then that, she knew the signs from when he was worried about her and they were clear.

[Alex Doyle]

As she began to speak, he once again stood up and began to pace. Pacing seemed to keep him focused, but at the same time not focused. He couldnt sit infront of her and listen to her explain that she had a relationship with someone else, after what had just happened between them. He had held feelings for this girl for far too long, and to finally be able to taste that happiness, only to have it pulled away within an instant, well it was too painful for him to even begin to say. He thought he knew her, but yet she carried on surprising him, usually he loved the surprises, he loved learning new things about her, but this? After what had happened? It just hurt, and the emptiness he once felt because he didnt have her, slowly crept back making him feel light headed and sick.

He raised a hand in confusion to his head as he stopped pacing and stumbled slightly because of the lightheadedness. He felt like he needed to sit down but wouldnt let himself, he found it absoulutly amazing how crushed he actually felt right now. After all these years, he never thought he could feel any worse than how he used to. Because he felt so deeply for her but she never knew, now he realised, he could feel worse, a lot worse. Alex gave a stupid half laugh, one that mixed with pain, anger, hurt and confusion, for he was feeling very bad right about now.

He couldnt help thinking stupid thoughts. He knew she cared about him that was certain, but he found himself wondering if Girty ever even liked him? Or had she only kissed him because she felt sorry about him having these feelings for her, which she didnt reciprocate, or at least, he was finding it hard to tell himself she did. He turned and looked at her, finally looked at her, he was afraid to in case he either said something unforgiveable, or fell into tears.

"But it's official enough for the both of you" He said, "That's enough to make it official for anyone" He sighed and looked down at his feet, "I dont need to know the history between you two or how you met. I know all i need to." He looked back up at her, hurt and confusion over his face, "Nothing can come of us, while you two are together you know that and I know that" It was hurting him saying it sure enough, but he knew it had to be said, he walked over to her and took both of her hands, trying his best to smile through the pain and confusion, "Just... I just want you to be happy" he told her, "And if he makes you happy... Then... Then..." It was too hard to say he'd be happy, because he wouldnt be, "Then... You should" he sighed, the words just wouldnt come out of his mouth. He wanted to tell her she should be with him if he made her happy, but it would tear him apart. He wanted to say he'd be happy if she was with him happy, but it would taste a lie. He wanted to say he'd be there for her, but he couldnt see them together. He would always be there for her, no matter what happens, "You should follow your heart, and if it leads you to Simon," Simon's name was strained on his tongue, "Then that is where you should be... I will always be here for you... No matter what happens, I will always be your friend"

[Girty Hubbles]

It has taken them so long to get to this place she could not let them slip away, not now and as he took hold of her hands Girty knew that she would not let Alex walk away again, they would not resort to months of silence not when so much had already been said. It was then Girty made up her mind that her small connection with Simon would pass, that she had only ever really wanted Alex, even during the darkest moments of her Thom infatuation.
It was when he told her to follow her heart that she knew she needed to make the stand and make him realise that this is what was coming from her heart and not just what he wanted to hear.

“I do not know what my heart wants. Last night I went to bed believing that there was future for me and Simon but then I woke up this morning and all I could think about was you. I have been sitting here since twelve minutes past nine this morning waiting, hoping and wishing you would walk over that hill. “Her voice was cracking with emotion and she could feel the sting of tears in her eyes. “And then you did…well I walked over it and you where here and…it made my day.”

She could not go on anymore and she placed her hand over her face almost as if trying to hide the fact that she was crying although the sobs and sniffing gave it away. After half a minute of weakness Girty managed to compose herself again and look at Alex with her glistening eyes. She wanted to carry on, she wanted to say more but she could not find the words so instead she removed her hands form Alex’s and wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her head on chest feeling it move up and down with every breath he took.

[Alex Doyle]

He knew as well as she did, that this was not going well at all. Alex had made his choice, he knew it was too difficult for them to be in eachothers lives, even if he had just told her he would be there for her, forever. He knew, that if she chose Simon, the pain of it would be too much for him and he would walk away from here, from her. Though at the same time, his mind was telling him he would stay and be with her always. There was never a moment in the day he didnt think about her. Every year he would write her a card on valentines day, but never send it. He had written letters, telling her how he felt. But threw them in the lake and watched them wash away. Now it seemed as though the wind was going to blow away everything too. And his heart was heavy thinking about it.

He listened to what she said, and felt a prickle in his heart, a tinge that telling him she meant it, that she meant it and it was from the heart. Though he knew, there couldnt be a tiny bit of doubt in her mind if things were to work between them. If she even had the slightest doubt that she wanted Simon, things with her and Alex would never work, it couldnt ever work. Alex knew he would rather not try, then try only to have her tell him in a month or so, she wanted Simon...

He listened as her voice cracked, as her sobs came to his ears and he felt suddely ashamed of himself. If he could have stopped that kiss, if he didnt have to stroke her face, she wouldnt be hurting like this and she would still think she wanted Simon. At least she wouldnt have been in pain, even if he was. Alex would take all the pain in the world, to save her from even a needle prick. Alex slipped his arms around her back when she put hers around his neck, this was probably going to go down at the best, and most confusing and painful day of his life.

He tried to joke, he wanted to, he wanted to say 'i thought you said you werent waiting long?' But he couldnt. "That might have only been because you missed me, my friendship" He said, "You need to be sure of what you want before you make any decisions... I'll wait for you, I always will do..." He pulled her close to him, he meant it, he didnt care if he waited an hour, a day, a week, a month or fifty years. He would wait for her, he had done for the past six. "I never stop thinking about you, and I never ever will. Nobody can do to me, things you can. They cant make me feel the same way you do..." He didnt know how he could explain, "I came here today, with hopes of seeing you, though I didnt get my hopes up... And when I did, when I saw you walking towards me... I've never felt, what I felt then, in my life before..."

"I will always wait"

Im patient like that

[Girty Hubbles]

Girty did not know what to say she just held onto Alex not wanting to let him go, not wanting to admit the fact that yet again circumstance was tearing them apart. Their relationship seemed to be full of what if moments and the more she thought about it the more a single question or answer could have changed the course of their lives. If Alex had signed the Valentines Day card then Girty would have known how he felt. Then maybe today they would be sitting on the rock together after being with each other for five years, maybe then Girty would not have been bitten by the werewolf and she could live a normal life…but was that what she wanted?

“Alex, I do not deserve you. I have caused you so much pain I can not let that continue I am the one who needs to do the honourable thing here I just wish…” Girty broke off and she thought about what she was going to say. “I just wish you would not be so understanding. Just sweep me off my feet and demand I drop everything to be with you.”

Se raised her head off his shoulder and looked at him deeply in his eyes, she caught a gleam in them that made her heart flutter nobody had ever looked at her like this before. Thom saw her only as a sister and Simon was a good person and a good friend he would understand after all it was not the perfect relationship when this…well it was Alex.

“Because you do know I would drop everything to be with you. I have missed you and it has only dawned on me today how I do care.”

She knew this would not be enough for Alex always put her happiness first , he was always there for her in the lower years doing what ever was in his power to help. The signs suddenly became so clear everything had been done for a reason and she had overlooked it all. Placing her head back on his chest Girty closed her eyes and enjoyed the feeling of being in his arms.

“I am sorry.” She mumbled.

[Alex Doyle]

The two of them were once again silent, he just stood there and held his arms around her. They were falling apart, something Alex did not intend, but never-the-less it was happenening and he, for once, did not know what to do. He was usually so good at picking up the pieces and mending friendships and relationships... But that concerned others, he wasnt so good at it himself. His eyes stared over the sky, that was suddenly darkening to a grey as heavy clouds began to surround them. It was going to rain, he knew it was.

"That is what I would like to do, more than anything" He told her, "I would like to say 'drop everything and be mine.' But we both know that's not the kind of person I am" He pushed out his arms, so he was holding her by her waist and looked at her, "You know how I feel about you Girty, its not a secret anymore. You havnt caused me any pain, I did it to myself because I never told you how I felt. If anything, I dont deserve you, I was a coward to hide in the shadows and not tell you, act like it didnt matter because it did... But you know now, and only you can make the desicion of what you want and who you want. Nobody else can make that for you"

As her eyes met with his, he found himself smiling. He knew, no matter what happened, he would always have this memory of the two of them. He could go to the ends of the earth, and still, his thoughts would bring him back here, to this day. Wherever he went, she would be with him, even if not in person, she would be with him in his heart. Nothing anybody could do or say could change that. He knew she was a Werewolf, but he didnt care. It was part of Girty and so he loved the Creature too. When he was wandering through the forest, he saw an injured werewolf, his thoughts then jerked back to Girty, it was whimpering in pain and Alex couldnt stand there and watch it suffer. He conjured some bandanges and medical supplies and bandaged it up, even caught it a few wild forest animals to eat before going on his way. Of course, he didnt tell her this.

"I know how much you care" He sighed and pulled her back into his arms, "But I wouldnt have you drop everything" he laughed, "I would like you to obviously, still have fun with your friends!" He smiled, "As long as your happy... That's good enough for me"

Alex now thought that Girty knew the reasons why he went out of his way to help her. Why he always dropped anything to be by her side when she wanted him there. He cared for her more than his words would allow him to say.

"You've got nothing to apologise for"

[Girty Hubbles]

This would not do, Alex was right and Girty hated admitting he was right. She always joked with him about being dim witted and having a smaller IQ then a slug but on occasions like this and on matters of the heart there would be no truer voice of reason then Alex. He could still show is affection for her, how much he cared but then still somehow reassure her that by keeping things how they were, by acting like adults instead of children everything could work out.

Her mind flashed back to the forest, standing among the bones of bead unicorns and telling Thom how she felt for him almost begging him to see reason and she like that now. The thought of being with someone, the want of the physical connection was not something you could just pluck out of thin air it had to be built on like her relationship with Simon. Girty let out a deep sigh. She could imagine seeing Simon in front of her, his weathered look, the look in his eyes and the laughter that erupted from him…the seed of doubt was germinating in her mind.

“I do have a reason to be sorry and I am.”

Girty unlocked her arms from around Alex’s neck and pulled herself away refusing this time to even look at Alex. The seed of doubt was shooting out, swamping her mind travelling faster then wild fire burning every optimistic thought she had. Girty could not longer do this, she needed to talk to Simon she needed a second opinion someone who would give her a straight answer and quickly.

Turning to look back down the hill that led to the village Girty thought about turning and leaving at that moment and not looking back until her head was clear. But something Alex had said held her back, he said that he wanted her happiness and she knew he was the one to give it to her, or at least she thought she did. Walking back towards him Girty looked up at the Ravenclaw a shy smile dancing across her face.

“I want you to be happy too you know and I want to be the one who gives you that happiness. But I can not at the moment we both know I need to sort everything out.”