(Hogsmeade) A Breath Before

[Prof Grace Marks]

It was once again the weekend and Grace had come to Hogsmeade to check on her little business. She had not had any urgent calls in the middle of the night so she was fairly certain it was still standing but that worry was not what was giving her the bufferflies in her stomach. She walked along the main street of the village looking at all the various stores, glancing into one or two of them hopefully but Grace knew she was kidding herself. She hung her head, her long blond hair falling about her face, and she dragged herself to a bench near to The Majestic Bird.

It had been months since their graduation and months since she had heard from Bog. Grace was worried about him, especially in these past few weeks as he was on her mind an awful lot. That usually meant something but what worried her even more was her inability to do anything. She couldn't get hold of Bog, she couldn't leave a message with a friend and hope it got to him. Now there was no middle man, just miles of emptiness between them. "I didn't even get a chance to say good bye," Grace sighed to herself as she sat on the bench.

People strolled by on their ways to wherever it was they were going. A family of four walked past and Grace thought she saw Bog standing on the other side of the family, on the other side of the road between the two buildings but as soon as they had past her vision on Bog had gone too. Grace sighed and slumped back. She knew she was being silly but she missed him terribly. This would have been their first Christmas together away from school and the normal comforts they were used to but now he wasn't there.

Grace sighed again and avoided looking at the spot where she had seen Bog, it was too painful. A tear welled up in her eye but Grace blinked it away, sitting up straight. She had not cried when Bog had left without a word and she had not cried since, there was hardly any point to doing so now. Grace looked towards the white washed door of her quaint little shop and smiled. Sianna had kept it very clean indeed, it had been the right thing to hire her. At first Grace had worried but those worries were fast fading.

[Cattrim Rallon]

Certain, less than conventional, dealings brought Cattrim to Hogsmeade. He was to meet an informant who would tell him where to complete the drop, then he was to hightail it there and back again, (wherever there was) within a couple of hours to meet with a refutable, far from respectable gentleman, who was more likely to try cutting his throat than complying.

But first one of his men had asked of him a favour, willingly Catt had obliged until he'd realised quite what it was. He'd tried to deter the man from continuing with his plan, but he'd been adament; where love was concerned Boggleworth could be incredibly stubborn. But Catt was his superior and Boggleworth had been forced to agree with Catt's well reasoned logic. Seeing his girl face to face would obviously be so much more comforting, but being caught and attracted unwanted and ultimately unnecessary attention was stupid, and Catt wanted no more tomfoolery, unless he was causing it himself. So he'd persuaded his young hand to give him the message rather than risk his own throat, and rathermore create far more hurt by seeing her face to face. Boggleworth had confided that leaving her so suddenly had nearly broken his heart completely, Catt couldn't allow that to happen. Their seeing each other would have created difficulties for themselves, and besides he needed Boggleworth for another job.

So with the flattering description of Grace Marks imprinted several hundred times over into his mind, Boggleworth really could chatter forever where Grace was concerned, Catt came a calling. He knew their affection for each other was strong for Boggleworth had reeled off many stories about their times together, his squad had grown tired of it, and for duties performed admirably Catt was doing this favour, one that really did strain his plans.

Heading for The Majestic Bird at a quick pace Catt found the girl with fresh tears in her eyes, clearly she was missing her dearly beloved, Catt's eyes unfocused momentarily as he looked down upon the young lady sat across the way from her establishment. Catt was impressed that she was running a business, being a successful business man himself he admired her for it, and the place looked really pretty quaint; definitely not his cup of tea but there was a market for it. With a gentle cough Catt smiled warmly at Grace sliding down beside her.

"I bring word from one whose affections are as damned strong as ever, he never shuts up about you." Catt grinned giving a roll of his eyes, there was no need for introductions for the less she knew about him the safer she was.
"He doesn't exaggerate about your beauty though, I've got to give him that, but no offence, I can't imagine you running a restaurant." Catt's gaze barely alighted upon Grace for more than a few seconds as he seemingly lazily looked about, really he was keeping an eye out for trouble, it never seemed far behind him.

[Prof Grace Marks]

A woman walking by looked at Grace and she quickly wiped her tearing eyes before they began to water any more. This was a place of business and there she was, crying. Her aunt would not have been happy if she could see Grace now. She would have told her that business and emotion should never mix, not even when your heart is breaking. Grace missed her and would have to make a plan to visit her sometime in the future, when things calmed down a tab. With that distraction in mind, Grace sniffed lightly and looked in the other direction from the staring woman.

It was then that a man joined her on the bench. Grace looked at him with her lake blue eyes and tilted her head to one side as he spoke. He seemed to know who she was and was speaking gibberish. Grace closed her eyes and shook her head, no. He can't be speaking about Bog. He simply can't be. "I'm sorry," Grace said, looking now at the man who had joined her, "do I know you?" Was it possible that this man had lost all sense of reality and his mind? Grace wondered but was taken aback.

"How did you know ...?" she began. She looked at the quaint little restaurant for a moment, then look back to the man, then back again. "I'm ..." she began, unable to believe she was entering into this discussion, "I'm not running it, not alone at any rate. I've got help. From Sianna and Andie and Cook. They're all being so supportive. It's wonderful." Grace looked back to the man slowly, trying to collect her scattered thoughts. "I trust them completely. But I don't know you. I don't know that you are really coming from ... he who holds my heart." She had deduced his meaning but wanted proof.

"What proof can you give me?" She sat back, linked her fingers together in her lap and looked nonchalantly at the man.

[Cattrim Rallon]

It was always hard for any to trust anybody; especially in this day and age, yet Catt now had the task of persuading a young lady that her lover still cared deeply for her...not easy. As Catt had been readying to leave Boggleworth had waylaid him saying how difficult it was for Grace to trust anybody, but how much she meant to him. He had been pining for her to put it simply and Catt's nerves at the tasks that lay ahead of him had left him rather tetchy. In his anger he'd demanded of Boggleworth why the hell did you leave her anyway?

He'd seen Boggleworth as a tough individual, verging upon cold with how he dealt with situations, then he'd seen his weak side, the look of purest heart and sorrow, it looked like his heart had bled. But Catt being Catt had added, "I know nothin' in the universe would keep me from who I love, n it's as plain as day that you're smittin with her." Tears had sprung unbidden to Boggleworth's eyes and he'd replied solemnly in a hushed whisper, "I had to, I had to."

Catt had left Boggleworth standing there lost and confused, murmuring to himself as if arguing. Catt hated walking away from people. But he'd had to, his own tasks were crucial, he'd just have to persuade Boggleworth of that too.

Shaking himself from his reverie Catt responded with a smirk, "it's good you're suspicious, ain't necessary with me, but o' course you don't know that...yet."

"You want proof? Why not just look into your heart?" he chuckled, "bin told that afore but it doesn't help. Just look into my eyes and ask yourself if I would be lying to you?"

"Then if that doesn't work ask yourself if I'd know about your first kiss and your nightmares. Obviously that ain't enough either, so I'll just give you the flaming letter already." Delving into his pockets he produced a sealed slip of parchment, with an unbroken badger seal. Inside lay the simple message;


Grace dearest,
I know I haven't contacted you in far too long, but I haven't been able to, blame this man for that. But he's alright really, only making sure us and our loved ones are safe. You can trust him completely, even more than me in fact because i've let you done so completely, i should be here for you now, if it wouldn't endanger you I would be. I believe i'm making a difference, you know how stupidly passionate about it all I am, but it'll turn out alright in the end, you'll see. That's a saying Catt often spouts out, and I'm even beginning to believe it now.

We'll see each other again soon, I promise

Bog


Whilst Grace read Catt sat silently studying her expression and who else was about with a careful absent look so as not to draw attention, he only hoped the blasted letter would sort things out, he didn't have time for this.

[Prof Grace Marks]

This man, whoever he said he was, was clearly having fun, messing with Grace's mind. Mentioning Bog like that then all this mumbo jumbo about finding the correct answer in his eyes, in her heart. Who did he think he was. Grace didn't appreciate this kind of treatment and gathered her hair together behind her head distractedly, to give her hands something to do. As he spoke she did so too but softly and to herself more then to him. He had no business knowing what was in her heart, or did he?

"My heart is too broken to see into," she whispered, pulling her long hair over her shoulder and running her fingers through it. "Bog made sure of that." It was painful to admit that the one she cared about more then any other had hurt her like no other could. That, she supposed, was the chance you took when you gave yourself so completely to someone.

Into his eyes? Grace mulled over it and thought for a moment. He didn't seem completely untrustworthy but she still had no proof. He could lie to her without any heartaches in the morning, she being left none the wiser. It was easier when you didn't know the person, to lie, but even so Grace avoided lying at all costs. She should have been more open with Bog ... while she had the chance.

"My nightmares?" Now Grace was most alarmed. There were four people in all the world who knew about her nightmares for she had told no other. So how did this man know of her nightmares? She studied his face, disdain and score streaking her blue eyes. "How do you ...?" she began but trailed off when a letter was handed to her. What? Confused, Grace turned the letter over in her cold hands a few times before opening it.

Grace lifted a trembling hand to her lips as she read. She laughed lightly at the first joke. It really was from Bog. Another joke and she allowed herself a little reprieve from the heartache that had shadowed her for so long. When the man was mentioned, Grace glanced up at him and saw he was casually relaxing on the bench, quite at his leisure. Her eyes snapped back to the letter. Smiling, she read it twice, three times more before lovering it and staring blankly across the street, thinking.

Slowly, Grace lowered her vision to the letter. When she spoke, her voice was deeper then usual, about to crack with many emotions. "So, Catt," she said slowly, cleared her throat, "is this what you have come here for or is there something else you would like to torture me with?" Grace was not embarrassed by the fact that all this was torturing her. She had gone months without knowing that Bog was even alive and know she knew, she knew his plans were more important to him then she was. It was torture.

[Cattrim Rallon]

Remaining quiet and comtemplative whilst Grace whispered more to herself than him, he waited impatiently for her to finish reading the letter. Time was ticking and he was still sat doing very little, Catt always prefered to be on the move, especially when he was anxious. He'd pace about whilst thinking long and hard upon a situation, he much prefered to act than plan things out in a long winded way, both ways led to difficulties anyway. But sitting her with a girl who clearly hated his guts for bringing her news of her beloved, wasn't what he should have been doing. "Don't shoot the messenger," Catt grumbled looking out across the street rather than at Grace.

"Gorram piece of trash," he muttered, "you're heart ain't broke, stuff can always be fixed, no matter what. Mine's taken more'n a few blows in the past and I'm still standing. Bog shud never have come to me, I realise that now, n so does he, but it's far too late now. You see him and you'll bring no end o' trouble down on you and yours."

Seeing just how hurt she was Catt added more kindly "this ain't proper torture, just a type of it, it'll turn out alright in the end, you'll see."

Taking a ragged breath he added, "I ain't sure about this, it might'n not be a kindness to neither of you, but I could arrange a little meeting between y'all. The decisions yours, it'd be less hassle for me to keep you seperated, but it could do you the world of good; I've no idea."

With a slight chuckle he added, "oh yeh Bog told me to say don't try to find me. But my being Captain means I don't have to respect his wishes, I leave it up to you missy, makes no odds to me."

[Prof Grace Marks]

Grace sighed, hung her head and looked mournfully down at the letter in her clutched hands. “I’m sorry,” she said dourly. She had not meant to be so aggressive but this was turning into a shock to an already weak system. She needed to become stronger, for her sanity’s sack and for Bog’s. This man that was doing this for Bog, for her too she supposed, was only trying to help and she thanked him with curt, belligerent outbursts that weren’t his to bear. “I didn’t mean to take this out on you,” she insisted, “I just feel abandoned, something Bog promised me he would never do. But he has and I’m not handling it as well as I should."

Folding the letter neatly, Grace stowed it in the inner pocket of her coat and listened intently. She laughed a little when he remarked on torture. “And of course, you have first hand knowledge on the different methods of torture, don’t you?” she said jokingly. She looked up at the man next to her and her smile fell, “oh gosh, you probably do. You know what, I don’t won’t to know.” Grace tried to take in deep breaths but the stuttered in and out of her.

“A meeting?” Grace repeated, thoughtfully, worried and wary. She knew that Bog wouldn’t like it, Catt apparently did too. Perhaps he would go with her to see Bog, perhaps that way she would keep her cool … and her tears at bay. And perhaps it was the last resort that had been coming from a way off. She had known that it might come to this but so soon? Grace sighed and ran her hands threw her hair. Leaning her elbows on her knees and cupping her chin in her hand, Grace watched the happy people walk on by. A couple with a young daughter past and Grace watched them absently. “That was suppose to be me,” she mumbled, watching as the mother picked her daughters up, her husband’s hand in her free one.

Tearing her gaze away from the happy people, Grace looked at Catt. “Perhaps it would be the best thing,” she said, slowly, “perhaps good bye would come better from me then from you. I know what I have to do.” She sat back now, locking her fingers tightly together and burying them in her lap, and stared over the street, not wanting to meet Catt’s eyes. “If you could arrange such a meeting that would be the best thing for both of us I feel. I have my quidditch, my restaurant and the Biggerstalls who take such good care of me whenever I ask for it. Bog has his …” she couldn’t find the word she wanted so settle for another “… life and he needs to live with without hang ups like … like a girlfriend he never gets to see because of it.”

Get a grip, Gracie, she told herself, and shook her head. Be decisive and do what you feel is right. “Though I would like to follow my heart, he has his own and needs to do what is right by him. I can’t ask any more then that and she mustn’t ask any more then that from me. Catt,” she faced Catt now with a new determination in her eyes, “arrange it, and let’s be done with this.” She couldn’t believe she was really considering this but to continue in this course would be detrimental to both of them.

[Cattrim Rallon]

This circumstance Catt finally realised was far more difficult for her than for him. He wasn't experiencing the emotions and feeling the pain of what she believed to be betrayal. Whether it really was a true betrayal or not wasn't even the point because it was how she was feeling and reacting that made it a betrayal. Catt now looked on her with a mixture of admiration for trying to strive through and pity for not being able to strive through the anguish.

"Ain't no need to apologise, I'd react much the same I'd wager." He replied with a smile to try brightening her up, but he guessed that wasn't what she needed, like she'd incinuated she needed someone to talk to about it, and she was only being agitated and edgy with him because he was the only one there. She wasn't choosing him as a confidante by choices, that was for sure, but she had him as it nonetheless. "We never mean for many things to happen, only they do. I don't believe Bog meant to abandon you, he may not even see it like that."

He laughed as a thought entered his head, "you're not handling this well? What's with all your successes then? You run a bleedin restaurant and play for some quidditch team or other, aren't you proud o' that? That's without bloody Bog."

Slouching further on the bench Catt looked about at the passing people, each with their own lives, worries, cares and troubles, it was far too complex for him. "Mayhap I've experienced torture..." he muttered darkly, "but you're right, it's best left unsaid." He smirked as the girl began mulling over the pros and cons of meeting with her boyfriend, he almost hoped they would now, just to see the fireworks. Looking anxiously at his watch only once he followed her gaze as she uttered a curious remark. Seeing the beginnings of a little family Catt was touched and he offered a little bit of hope, "it still can be, this war won't last forever, just be patient like."

But on hearing her next words Catt wondered if he'd done something pretty dreadful, he might only be the final push that tore the pair apart perhaps, but he didn't want that guilt. "Goodbye," he muttered, "didn't you say a bientot?" He asked wondering quite how things had been left. The situation was getting steadily worse, he had no idea how to react in such situations, being pretty dreadful in them himself, give him a warzone over this any day. "You what?" He muttered in disbelief, he didn't want to know quite what she meant he realised. Then he found an argument, "you ain't a hang up girl, you're the only bit of hope he's got. You're all he ever blarts on about." Leaning forward and clasping his fingers Catt wondered quite how to put it, slowly he took her unresisting hand in his, "I've even heard him muttering away in his sleep about ya'll."

Catt released his warm grip thinking she was quite resolute, who was he to persuade her any different, but his own morals and values forced him to add, "I ainn't claiming I know neither of you well, but you seem to need each other...well quite completely."
But he had to respect her wishes, he'd said his peace, given his judgement but it was ultimately between the pair of them.

"It'll all be sorted for you, do what you believe is right, don't let anyone persuade you any different now. Not even me." He grinned, "a meeting in Hogsmeade might be easiest, we don't want you drawn into our little rabbit warren now do we?" Smirking Catt patted her hand in a nervous way, as if he wasn't sure quite what to do. "The two of you confuse me sommit ridiculous." Shaking his head he added teasingly, "not gonna offer me any of your lovely food then? I've heard it's pretty alright." Shaking his head to show it was only a joke he finished, "I've business to attend to, but it was a pleasure meeting ya'll Grace." He stood and stretched looking about to check nobody was taking any particular interest in them. "Unless you've anything you'd want to give Bog then I'll be bid ya'll adieu."

Catt didn't know what they were going to do, but it was up to them, he had nothing to do with it. Except taking care of their safety.

[Prof Grace Marks]

Grace realised that Catt was just trying to help, to make her feel better, and she couldn't help but smile at him. It was a small, weak smile but a smile nonetheless but it faded quickly. She avoided looking at the people passing by but instead studied the floor. It was easier to pretend they weren't there then watch them. She didn't like to watch them and be reminded of what she could have had. She was so ready to follow Bog's dream, give up her Quidditch dream for him but then he left and she was left with only her dreams.

"However he meant it or not, that's the way it came out, as abandonment. I know Bog would never do anything to hurt me ... only he did."

When Catt said she was not handling it well Grace had to laugh, a short quiet sniggered. "We've been together for so long," she whispered, "I shouldn't have to do all this alone." For all their talks of staying together after school she never planned on having to live without him. He knew how she felt about being left to fend for herself, at least she hoped he did, and still he did it, still he left her to fend for herself.

From his reaction, Grace knew that she should not burden Catt with her decision. It was hers and hers alone, he could not understand how her mind was running and would not be able to explain it as she could. It was hers to explain as well and she knew that none other should do it. She looked up at Catt and smiled as brightly as she could. Keeping up appearances with the man that was going to arrange her meeting with Bog. "Don't worry about it, Catt," Grace said, smiling again. "I appreciate what you're doing for us, Catt. Thanks you."

She smiled and stood up, gazing towards the white door of her quaint little restaurant. "I'd love for you to come," she said in earnest but then he said he had business and Grace nodded her head. She sat back down again. "Very well, but maybe when you're business is finished? We're open till late so any time you wish. It was a pleasure meeting you too. Pity it wasn't under better circumstances." She smiled at him and held out her hand, "good day, Catt."