(Forest) Lacuna

[Thom Moen]

Thom was no longer allowed to feel fear, apparently. Not in this place anyway.

The beautiful emerald light had struck his eyes, rendering them ruined and broken. It was always said the Killing Curse didn’t leave a mark, but Thom distinctly remembered feeling the pain in his skull as the silhouette of McNiven was burned into his retinas, like a negative photograph, the image still appearing every time he closed his eyes in this glowing, still place. Some sort of physical event, like someone taking hold of his wrists and pulling him out of himself, had happened.

He had had his suspicions who – he had seen him, briefly, watching – but now he was gone. Was it even possible that he could’ve followed Thom here? Even if he had wanted to, was he allowed?

Blindness. He knew that he was sitting crossed legged on a floor that wasn’t solid, and although no air grazed his newly soft skin he knew that he was naked, exposed in a vast empty place that – somehow, and Thom didn’t know how – had absolutely no end to it. He had called out several times, expecting to panic himself, only to have the feeling squashed by an unseen hand.

‘Can someone tell me where I am?’ He asked expressionlessly, his useless eyes staring ahead, dumbly, as he waited for a shadow to cross the light pressing against his poor sight. Thom knew he was dead, and he knew full well that he was some place else now, away from the forest and a living body (already he could feel how different it was to have no blood, no heart, and it shocked him that he had never noticed them while he was alive).

But something told him that he wasn’t where he was actually meant to have gone.

‘I think I’m lost.’ He said softly.

[Panos]

"Lost isn't quite the right term," said a voice riddled with ages of wisdom and mystery. "Sidetracked might be more appropriate though."
The voice echoed through the timeless chasm, bouncing off nothingness, reverberating against space itself.
"I had wanted to intervene for you in the forest, but sadly I could not reveal myself to you with so many people there."
The darkness of this place was deafening, its pure silence felt like it could suck the breath right out of you.
What was that...
There was a noise neither from himself or the boy. They had finally caught on.
The injustice of it! Leave the poor boy for who-cares how long and then just as I come to rescue him they decide to interfere! Well we'll just see about that!

"Now, my boy. I am in a most dire need of your skills back at Hogwarts. As... charming, as this place is-" the voice dripped with distaste. He hated having to project himself here. Sure, he had been part of its creation, but that didn't mean he had to like it! "-I was hoping you would join me. Back at your school. Will you help me?" it was so hard for him to sound friendly here. Though almost any sound was probably inviting and quite welcomed by now. How long had they left this boy here? He couldn't be entirely sure. Yes, he had known what they were planning; and, yes, he had wanted to help. But he couldn't then. He could help now however. And he planned to do it. He just had to get the boy to agree...

[Thom Moen]

Thom’s face lit up with shock at the ancient, bleating voice. It seemed to be so close yet so far at the same time, and it felt as though he could’ve been sitting in the thing’s throat.

‘Where am I then?’ He asked, his eyes soft with thought before he began to frown, the feeling returning to him, no longer suppressed by that dark hand. ‘How can I be anywhere but where I’m supposed to go? There shouldn’t be anywhere else! There’s only one or the other… am I not dead? That’s nonsense!’ His said accusingly, his panic rising. Thom climbed to his knees in the darkness and pushed himself up to stand, the floor still not there. No temperature, no breeze, no walls, no echoes. This place was endless… or, it wasn’t full formed. Was that it? It wasn’t complete, and nor was anything that occurred in it?

There was no air because it hadn’t been invented yet.

‘There are plenty of ghosts in that castle. I haven’t even settled in yet and you’re already asking me to move out?’ He questioned sourly, becoming stubborn and puerile. Despite his nakedness, he placed his hands on his hips, defiant. ‘And what skills? I couldn’t even…’ Everything about him deflated – his posture, his expression, all feeling – and he sunk back down to the nonexistent floor, his insides filling up with his Last Memory, like water into a deep, deep cup. If he tipped over now, it'd be a disaster.

‘Will I help you? Well no, I don’t think I shall.’ He threatened meekly, wishing the nothingness would blister with his anger, become hot so he could feel something and drive the voice out. 'Leave me alone. Now.'

Please don't go.

[Panos]

He remained silent as the boy rampaged. It was understandable for him to be angry and scared. Especially in this place.
He waited for a few moments after the boy had become silence before speaking again. "Black and white are not always what they seem," he said quietly. "There are places of grey between them where choices can be made."

Silence again. If he couldn't explain things then this indignant boy would not agree to his terms, which meant he had to keep the boy interested, and since right now he was the only thing that could interest the child he would have to work quickly, lest something sinister try to ruin his plans.

"You are Between," he began again.
Why is there always someone I've got to explain all this to...
"Though you have been pulled from your body your Spirit is given a chance to choose its fate. You are being given a chance to move on, to the other side. Accept what fate may bring you for your earthly actions..." he paused, letting his words set in and silence overwhelm the boy again before continuing, "Or you may return with me. Make up for your wrongs. Pay penance by doing a good deed for someone else before your final judgement."

"Do you really want to find yourself settled here?" he questioned back. How could anyone ever want to find themselves comfortable in this place?
"Your skills reach beyond menial magic, child. No, you could not save yourself from a more powerful wizards brutal and unyielding attack. You had no choice..." another pause, "But now you do. As you help me, you will gain abilities the like of which you cannot fathom. You can seek vengeance for what that man did to you..." again he gave the boy a chance to process this possibility.

"But if you really don't want to help someone in need... If you don't want me to help you... If you want me to go away..." the sound of uneven footsteps leading away from the boy projected themselves into this quiet place...

[Thom Moen]

‘Choices…’ Thom echoed in a shallow breath, the concept comforting, for it hadn’t occurred to him that he had any left. So this was a place between where he had come from, and where he was supposed to go. A place to choose.

He frowned suspiciously.

‘But don’t all wizards get a choice? When here and now happens? Why do I need your help to return, anyway? Why can’t I do that myself?’ Thom choked on his own words for a moment, trying to slow down. He was talking too fast, trying to keep up with his train of thought and the rise of emotion pressing against the inside of his chest. In the darkness his eyes glazed over. ‘I didn’t even get a chance to stay or go. Did you put me here?’ His throat tensed, grew sore. He wanted to blame everyone for everything.

Did you take away my choice?

The voice now had feet to go with it, and it was fading away, taking his bluff, leaving him with the thought of McNiven. He almost didn’t care about McNiven at all – he was so insignificant now he was here. So trivial yet so bloody important.

I don't know what to do.

‘No, please, don’t!’ He shouted, his voice full of fear. He begun sprinting in a direction that he didn’t fully know, and he didn’t know where the voice was travelling away to. It was everywhere, so he could follow it anywhere, surely? ‘I want go back so badly!’ This place was like being stuck in a lift. The doors wouldn’t open and he was going to be alone in a dark, airless space forever.

‘I’m not ready to be alone yet!’

[Panos]

"There must always be a reason to stay or go. Some stay for love, others out of spite, still more linger simply from the fear of it all," he said slowly. "Although everyone is given the choice, there must always be someone to reach out and offer it. As scared as people are of the Great Beyond, there are even more frightened of the Between, and rightly so."

'I want to go back so badly!'
He knew the boy would eventually consent. Now it was time to show the boy what exactly he was getting into. Out of the darkness a mist slowly drifted into view. The mist pulled together and solidified. From the mist the form of a Faun slowly came into view.
Ancient. Looking like he had just stepped out of Time and Nature themselves; the goat hooves were soundless as they floated through the nothingness towards the boy; the ears twitched with excitment at he thought that now he almost had The Five together again.
He held out his old and unhuman palm to the boy, "Are you sure?"

[Thom Moen]

Despite what Thom had said about his choices, he truthfully had no idea what he would’ve chosen to do if he had been given a choice between staying forever or moving on, back there in the forest. How far away was back there, anyway? Was it under him, over? Or was he still there, wandering through the trees, blind and confused? Knowing his luck Thom probably wasn’t dead. This was all just some elaborate hallucination and he was just stunned, his own imagination making that eerie, ancient voice.

Something was changing now – was he waking up? – for through the blackness something was coming, pale and changing, dense yet thin at the same time. Thom realised it was a cloud of mist, somehow miraculously managing to stay together in this vast place. It had sucked away all light and wind and colour, but this fog survived. Why?

‘My God…’ Thom whispered hoarsely to himself as he watched it come together, tunnelling into a vision, a shape – a man. No… ‘What are you?’ He asked slowly, shaking his head, tears coming to his eyes. The black eyes were so dark and large Thom could see himself reflected in them, even from here, his naked body bright in the darkness. Two long, coiling horns rose out of its wrinkled forehead, monstrous and heavy. Long, scraggly hair fell around it’s humped shoulders, and further down – confirming all Thom’s suspicions – were two broad, flat hooves.

‘I’m in Hell, aren’t I?’ His voice broke, the tears spilling over. He wanted to turn and run, hide behind the black nothingness, but a single roll of the ancient beast’s eyes fixed him to the spot, feeling both terrified and foolish. The tall thing ceased its weightless travel before him, and Thom craned his neck to look into its creep face, a long, ill hand extended. What in Merlin’s name was going on?

‘Of course I’m not bloody sure.’ He managed to retort at last, jaw clenching painfully.

Which do you want? Here… or him?

Thom’s fingers uncoiled from its fist. The old thing was looking at him with such patience that he could barely believe something so malevolent looking could be capable of any expression. Pausing to smear the tears on his cheek with the back of his hand, Thom slowly placed the tips of his fingers against the rough, aged palm. ‘I suppose I can’t procrastinate forever.’ He declared, defeated.

[Panos]

The creature laughed, "To some I am a god, to others I am a nightmare; to the truly enlightened, I am Panos. Faun and Guardian of secrets in your school which I need your help unlocking."

The creature clicked his tongue against his teeth, "Tch, tch... Hell isn't really a strong enough word to describe this place..." he sighed. Why had it been created again? To give choices back to people from whom choices had been taken. Those who were not given the choice of life and death were sent here to be given a final option of their fate. But the pure absence in this universe was like a hell in and of itself.

Panos snickered, "Ah, my dear boy. Don't worry so much. I'm not going to eat your soul. Like I said; I need your help back at Hogwarts. Now, time is of the essence and I really must get a descision from you. So are you staying or going?" he asked impatiently, tapping a hoof on the obvious nothingness that was what formed this place.

And then it was sealed. Thom reached out and Panos took hold of him. "Alright then. Back we go," the faun snapped the fingers of his other hand and the entire expanse which surrounded them glowed with a silvery shine, growing in intensity before finally becoming a blinding hum of pure light. The boy was lucky, he wouldn't feel anything as they travelled back from the Between; the fauns mind seared with pain however. He grimaced and clenched his teeth to keep from making a sound as the pressure of worlds-within-worlds threatened to squeeze his mind straight out of his body and leave him as stranded Between as the boy had been.

And then everything faded.

The light subsided, the nothingness was replaced by familiar forest surroundings, the boy was silvery and trasparent, the clothes he had been wearing before his death had somehow formed around him during their journey back... but he was alone. Panos still remained in his hidden sanctury but his mind pierced Thoms with a final parting message; "Find the ones who bear your mark, you know who they are..." and then a frilly looking 'y' mark appeared on his hand, glowing like an aurora borealis. "You know who they are..." he intoned once more before breaking the connection.