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Post by Max Hennerdale on Jan 19, 2008 22:32:26 GMT
Your words were like a dream
He walked, his hands in his pockets, his head bowed. Tears glistened in the young prefects eyes. The wind blew through his blonde hair, the sun was setting on the horizon behind the mountains and the night was going to be clear, full of stars. Dreams as of late had been haunted of memories past, waking up every night, his eyes streaming, his heart racing...
Shouting might have been the answer
Standing on the bank of the lake, the wind blowing his robes around him, his hair was becoming unruly and the tears glistened but refused to fall. He slunk to the floor, not realising what he had done until now. How could one person be so idiotic?
The dream isnt over yet
He still thought about it. Though pretending like he didnt. He put on a brave face to everyone around him, but his strength was slowly failing him. He took his hands out of his pockets, holding in it, his prefect badge. He looked up at the horizon, watching as the sun set, the tears that hung on the edge of his eyes, still not falling. What could he do now?
A smile tugged at his mouth, remembering everything that had happened, the good times not the bad. It was a strange feeling.
Save your tears cause i'll come back
Though he wouldnt wipe them away. He knew they wouldnt fall, but he wasnt going to push them back, wipe them away or hide them. The wind was breezing through his hair, his blue eyes watching the sunset. A smile on his face, a sad smile, but a smile none the less. He hadnt even noticed someone else by the lake...
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Post by Girty Hubbles on Jan 19, 2008 22:52:41 GMT
Girty needed to get away from Dan, she did not care where just as long as she was away from his moaning and long winded chats about how the world is cruel to those who are in love and how he was constantly telling her not to fall. The only time she had to herself was when Dan was in lesson or in the evenings when she would escape with Simon, but seeing it was not an evening Girty sat by the lake alone.
It had been a while since she had time to just sit and think while looking out over the murky blue waters and stare absentmindedly on at the animals and the many ripples that disturbed the surface of the water. It was when a gust of cold wind blew over the waters that she noticed she was not alone at the shore line, turning her head to one side Girty saw a Gryffindor who she knew to be Maxi Hennerdale. The Hufflepuff could not help but watch as his handsome features were toyed with by the wind and he suddenly dropt to the ground.
Silence covered the grounds of the castle and for a moment it seemed as if time stood still as the boys pain was clear his mixed emotions flickering from one to the other. Pushing herself up off the ground Girty put her hands into her trouser pockets and slowly made her way over to the prefect. Another gust of wind blew her dark hair over her face but instead of removing it with her hands she just turned to look straight into letting the wind do all the work.
“Crazy weather we are having. It feels more like autumn then spring.”
It may not have been what either of them wanted to talk about but as her mother always said ‘If you can not think of anything better to say talk about the weather’ So that is what Girty did, it seemed slightly more suitable then taking the bull by the horns and asking the poor boy what was wrong after all they had never truly talked.
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Post by Max Hennerdale on Jan 19, 2008 23:14:10 GMT
The air was warm even though the wind was hard, whipping at Maxi's face, a final blow causing the tear in his left eye to roll down his cheek, though he did not wipe it off, he let it fall freely. He just watched as the sun slid slowly down behind the mountain, casting a glow so beautiful it made his heart clench again. His emotions were in a place he could not yet reach.
I did not say goodbye, but i was listening
Random thoughts like this kept coming to him as memories hit his head. He sighed as the tear fell off his chin and onto his chest. Looking down as he felt his left eye fill with water again, he wasnt sobbing or making a noise, the tears were in his eyes, but yet the blonde was silent. He felt like it was ending, like trying to keep water in his hands, the harder he tried, the more it slipped away from him.
He remembered his promises, his declarations. His feelings. This past year had been nothing but trouble for him, he knew it was his own doing, and knew that only he could change it. Yet he hadnt the strength nor courage to go about doing it. Some Gryffindor he was. Max usually worked hard for something he wanted, and the thing he wanted most he didnt have the energy to fight for.
His tear filled eyes looked down at his reflection in the water, for the first time in a long time, he was looking at himself in the way his insides felt. For even though he usually had a hardened gaze and expression, his insides were screaming at him. He finally recognised his face. A voice behind him made his heart clench once more, though it relaxed as he realised the voice wasnt that of the one he could not stop thinking about.
"Certainly is" he gave a weak smile and looked back out to the sunset. "Beautiful" He smiled as he looked at it. Holding his prefect badge between his fingers, that was where this mess had began and he knew it. He dropped it on the ground, with no intention of picking it up. With no intention of ever touching one of them again.
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Post by Girty Hubbles on Jan 19, 2008 23:52:41 GMT
Simple response to a simple question, Girty did not expect much more as there was nothing to say. Breathing in the fresh Scotland air Girty looked down at the Gryffindor a frown slowly knitting itself across her brow. He has something in his hand it was only small but it was shinny (and Girty always liked shinny things) she continued to watch as he dropt the object on the floor.
Her magpie instincts kicked in and her hands came out her pockets and she slowly crouched down and picked the object out of the dirt. It was a badge but as she turned it over she saw the words ‘Prefect’ written upon them and she could not help bust let out a soft laugh. Tucking the odd stand of hair behind her ear Girty looked over at Maxi still the badge in her hand.
“You know I would have done anything to have one of these. I am convinced the only reason I was never a prefect was because of my brother. If I had one of these badges I would wear it with pride.” She twisted the badge in her hand some more and let the sun light from the setting sun gleam off it. “Naturally I am not power hungry I just think you can not get a more proud Hufflepuff then me.”
Her hands closed tightly around the badge and she dropt down onto the ground next to Maxi giving him a small smile only to see a tear role down one of his cheeks. Girty was not deaf to the school rumours, she knew that this was the guy that her friend Ashton claimed to love and that their relationship was not very stable but she had also heard that Maxi had been the heartless one and from merely looking upon him she could tell that once again the rumour mill in the school had done its work and turned the truth on its head.
Unfolding he hand she moved the prefect badge closer to Maxi so it was sitting on her palm ready for him to merely pick up. She knew it would not be that easy but she knew she had to start somewhere and this seemed the most logical way.
“I think your problems lie a bit deeper then a lump of metal and throwing it in the dirt will not make things better.”
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Post by Max Hennerdale on Jan 20, 2008 0:12:16 GMT
It was strange to be sat here with someone and yet not mind his softer side coming out. His eyes glistened as he looked down at the metal on the floor. The evening light shining off the back of it. Max had felt so amazed when he was chosen, and yet now he could only look upon it and wished it had never came to him. He looked back up, his hair was blowing in his face and his eyes were slightly narrowed, though they may have only looked that way due to the water at the bottom of them. He listened to her as she gave a soft laugh and silently wished he could laugh too. Though his facial features were strained even when he tried to smile. He couldnt, his heart was too heavy. He didnt have it in him.
Its not too late
Even though he kept telling himself it was, a part of him knew it wasnt. Yet all he could do was stand fixed whenever he spied them in the corridor. Or shy away from his true feelings. He found himself gazing at his reflection once more, a rippled image of his face cast back up at him. Giving a weak smile as yet another tear fell and landed in the water, making it ripple outwards.
"There was a time I fantasized about being one" He said in a soft voice, he looked at the badge in her hand. The word Prefect glistening at him, he felt like it was calling him to take it back, yet he couldnt outstretch his hand and take it. He knew this was if not more than half the reason he was like this right now.
I often say i can forget
But it wasnt that easy. He couldnt forget because he still felt. He wasnt the heartless person everyone perceved him to be. He too, knew the rumours and he was the bad one. He was, and he would admit that. He knew she had seen the tear, but they had the right to flow and he wasnt going to stop them from falling. He thought forever was meant to be a long time, though his promise for forever didnt last long at all. His promises, now seemed to mean naught. He couldnt change what he had done, and he couldnt take back what he had said. His gaze went back out to the glow that was now fading to dark.
He looked back down at the badge and slowly shook his head. He knew she was trying to help and he thanked her for it, but he couldnt take it. He realised now that it was because of that, this had all happened. He finally realised, Mark was right.
"It started with that bit of metal, but yeah, it does run deeper too"
He smiled and wrapped her fingers over the badge in her hand, a gesture as if to say he did not want it anymore. "I was... too serious..." A tear fell. It was painful. He looked up at the sky, a perfect opportunity to blink back the tears, and yet, he wouldnt.
"Maybe they are, no... They arent..."
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Post by Girty Hubbles on Jan 24, 2008 0:58:04 GMT
Girty felt the cool metal get pressed into her hand once again as Maxi reached out and closed her palm around it. His voice was so solemn and yet another tear rolled freely down his cheek and yet again pity filled the heart of Girty Hubbles. They had not said more then a few words to each other but yet Girty was able to piece together the shards of the broken person Maxi was. But all she could do was hope that she could help a little, in the past Girty had never been too good at situations such as this, but then a lot had changed over a few months and although around most she still acted the innocent fool she had matured a lot since the death of Thom.
Lowering her hand Girty slid the badge into her pocket to keep it safe and so when Maxi was ready he could have it back and where it with pride once again although he seemed her task might be harder then that. Silence fell over the two of them and Girty’s attention turned back to the lack and the many ducks that bobbed up and down on the surface, quacking at each other before taking off out of the water and into the afternoon sky but all the time she was listening to the Gryffindor and his mutter words.
“They aren’t what?” A small jovial smile started to play on her lips. “Dead, mortally wounded, poisoned….why am I only saying morbid things erm….” She broke off and a small frown grew across her face “Behind you, magical, clever, beautiful…I think I am way off.”
This was the fool that Girty always ended up feeling as soon as she managed to get herself into a situation she was not comfortable in. If others had been around talking and comforting Maxi she would have just remind silent and been there for moral support. But she was alone and old habits die hard.
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Post by Max Hennerdale on Jan 24, 2008 23:41:40 GMT
He gave a smile when he gave Girty the badge, it was not something he wanted on his person anymore, he could not wear it with pride when his heart felt so heavy, and he couldnt juggle his heart and play prefect at the same time either. He sat there in a comfortable silence, he felt like his whole person was just a shivering mass of very delicate glass, and the moment someone touches it or puts that final twist in the works, the pieces he was trying so hard to hold together, would no doubt crash around him.
Maxi gave a sorrowful laugh, but at the same time it was a happy laugh, like an impulse of sorts, "You're way off" he told her, "I was looking for the word right"
Yet even though he knew that they were wrong about him, he couldnt help but feel that maybe somewhere they were right. They were tiptoeing on the edge of the real problem, sort of just skimming the surface but not going into details, in all honesty, Maxi was happy with skimming for now. He didnt know if he could talk to someone he barely knew about it. Though he had to ask,
"Have you heard the rumours that are flowing about me?"
He looked at her, his usually life filled, sparkling deep blue eyes, lifeless and dull. They always said your eyes were the way to your soul, you could change your face, change your appearance but your eyes would remain the same. They were the one true gateway into your deepest regions, into your closest held emotions. He needed to know the answer, he didnt know why, but he needed to. He knew rumours were flying around, but exactly what they entailed he never knew, nobody would ever tell him, usually lie and say they hadnt heard or make sure it didnt reach him.
"People need the truth sometimes," he said saddened, looking over the lake once more, "Dont they?"
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Post by Girty Hubbles on Jan 25, 2008 16:44:22 GMT
When Maxi told her the answer Girty nodded her head with at it all seeming so clear now that the correct end to the sentence had been said. With a quick glance at Maxi turned her attention back to the lake and wondered about what it could be that everyone else was right about, however the silence and her pondering was soon answered when Maxi asked if she had heard the rumours about him. Slowly turning back to face him his dull eyes met hers and she was compelled to tell him the truth instead of a small white lie.
“I have heard many things but I never believe anything that goes through the schools rumour mill. Every story to make a hero and a villain in it all…and…and what I have heard you have been made the villain.”
She worried she was being to up front about it all and that one wrong word might upset the poor Gryffindor. Maxi seemed shaken and full of emotion and this was a contraction to what she had heard about him being cold hearted and snapping at Ashton telling him he did not and never did love him. Girty swore that Ashton had told her once upon a time that they had told one another that they loved each other but it seemed a faint memory, it was the whispers in the common rooms filled her thoughts and clouded her judgement.
“Yes people need the truth it keeps us sane but then the ones we love lie to us to protect our feelings. I think in those occasions the truth should only be spoken when no more harm can be done and the good intension is clear.”
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Post by Max Hennerdale on Jan 27, 2008 22:03:30 GMT
"Well I dont blame them for making me the villian" he told her, "I guess its nothing less than what i deserve, i mean. I have treated Ashton unfairly and discustingly" He told her, "My mother would be turning in her grave" He sighed and looked down, the memory of his mothers death was still painful for him. Him and Mark, as they had both seen it... Helpless, they couldnt do anything.
He sighed again, everything was slipping away from him and he knew it was. He knew he wanted Ash back in his life but he wondered whether or not Ash wanted him back in his life. He doubted it and he didnt blame him. He had afterall said unforgiveable things to him and had said them rather cruely, he reminded himself if Rieko that day, she didnt care for others feelings and that was how he had acted, as though he didnt care for Ash's feelings.
"You hit the nail on the head" He half laughed, "I... I lied to Ash... I told him I didnt love him anymore... I dont know why maybe I needed some alone time, or maybe i thought i didnt and this time apart has made me realise i do... I dont know... I didnt say it nicely either i didnt give one thought to his feelings about how i was making him feel and... and... and" He stammered and looked to the floor, his eyes were streaming now. He tried to take a deep breath, only for it to catch, "I was cruel, i was harsh and i definatly didnt act as though i cared... But i do... And i never stopped and im realising it now! 'Cept i dont think he will... I dont think he will ever forgive me for it and i dont blame him" he sighed and looked at her, "I wouldnt forgive me"
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Post by Girty Hubbles on Feb 3, 2008 18:56:46 GMT
The silence that covered the castle grounds seemed to suit the atmosphere that hung over this conversation. People normally came to the lake to be alone and think whilst looking out over the tranquil dark waters, getting lost in the many ripples and waves that covered the surface each time the wind blew. And watching the ripples was something Girty was doing right now as she listened to Maxi explain his side of the whole situation with Ashton.
In Girty’s eyes it seemed that everyone was breaking with one another even when they still cared and even loved the other, she could not get her head around why people would do that and act in such an irrational way but she could be counted as one of those few, Girty for example had been so scared about hurting someone she cared about she had tried not to think about them which as a result made the problem even worse.
“Everyone has their moments of doubt after all that is what makes us human. If we did not fear or distrust certain things then the human race would have died out many moons ago.”
Girty gave a soft laugh as she turned to look at Maxi, watching the tears roll down his cheeks as he stared at the ground. She never liked seeing anyone who was upset and that was when Girty normal acted like the fool to try and create a happy atmosphere, but the problem was when someone started to cry. It was a boundary she had never been able to get past before and she always felt like she made things worse and she was in no position to preach on this topic.
With a small sigh Girty shuffled a little closer towards Maxi and she placed her arm around his should and gave a small squeeze. She did not know what to say and thought that simply by doing this she was providing a small slice of reassurance to the Gryffindor. It was however the last part he said that stuck in her mind ’I wouldn’t forgive me ‘ as this just made Girty think of her brother and the mess he was in. She had come to the lake to escape all this and here she was with her arm around another broken hearted man.
“I would forgive you.” She mumbled slowly “If I was Ashton and loved you the way he confesses I would forgive you. You did nothing terrible wrong other then cause me pain…but you understand that you have and also the error of your ways…I would be happy just to be able to call you mine once again.”
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Post by Max Hennerdale on Feb 4, 2008 0:33:25 GMT
Maxi sat tere with Girty, silence flooding over the two. The wind was the only sound in Maxi's ears, if you forgot about the pounding of his heart of course. He tried to concentrate on something other than his heart, he tried to listen to the wind, to the sounds of the lake even to the sounds of the forest but nothing was outweighing the sound of of his own heart
He tried to remember something happy, but the only thought that came to his mind was the one where he had told Ashton he didnt love him. Truth, he thought he didnt, but he was too wrapped up in his own things that he had completly messed up his relationship. No matter which way you looked at it, things seemed to be falling apart, and as quickly as Max put them together again, they still came apart.
"Yeah I know that" He said with a sigh, "But it doesnt make it any easier does it?"
Maxi heard her laugh, and wished he could laugh too, but he couldnt. He wanted to talk about something else, this was only making him feel worse. He didnt want to brood over what had happened with Ashton, but he couldnt help it. Maxi knew he was the only one who could put things right and soon enough, a plan formed in his head of how he was going to do that. He felt her arm around his shoulder and the friendly squeeze that accompanied it. He was surprised this made him feel slightly better, resting his head on her shoulder, he took a shuddering breath, as though trying to hold back the pain within him.
"That's you though" He answered, "I did nothing terrible than lie to him about my feelings. I could have prevented this all from happening, i could have stopped it but i chose not to" He sighed again, "Everything happens for a reason, right? My mother taught me that."
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Post by Girty Hubbles on Feb 13, 2008 15:59:21 GMT
Girty shrugged her shoulders as maxi mentioned about even if Ashton would theoretically take him back things would not get easier. Girty thought about his situation a few more times, about him covering up his feelings and it all sounded slightly too familiar to her.
“Maybe I want to forgive you as I have done the same thing. I have lied to someone about my feelings and now I have found myself in a situation that I do not want to be in and I do not know how to get out of it without causing more pain...and as a result I have lied more....and you must understand, I NEVER lie!”
Girty let out a deep long breath almost as if it was the weight weighting on her heart escaping. She could not believe she had just blurted this out to a complete stranger, it was something Girty never did, it even took a lot for Grace and Jac to get the truth out of her on matters of the heart and here Maxi had achieved it without even asking. However this was going away from the whole problem that was truly in front of her of a broken hearted Maxi, but it still made her feel better almost as if she could think a little clear now that one problem was out of the way she could focus fully on the other.
“Well if everything happens for a reason then reason has no common sense.” Girty crossed her legs and rested her elbows upon them and rested her chin on her right hand as she looked thoughtfully out over the lake. “Maybe we made these decisions because for a brief moment of insecurity or brain fade we thought it was for the best, but we can not change the past no matter how hard we try.”
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