Thoughts of Darkness {Jac Biggerstall}

[Jac Shaw]

Jac pulled her hand away from the wall abruptly as though she had been burned. She looked at her hand and rubbed it. This was becoming despondent and she was beginning to think there was no helping this Claw. She sighed and walked back to him. "I would never have guessed," she said slowly, pulling out her wand, "that your place of comfort was at the same place that caused you pain."

She was standing in front to the table now that had had the letter on it. She cleared her throat and said, pointing her wand at the table, "Orchideous." A bunch of red roses were now lying on the table. Jac snapped her fingers and looked around the room. "Do you have a vase?" she asked absently, putting her wand away.

She picked up the bunch and sat next to the Ravenclaw. "Here," she said, handing them to him, "I can never remember the charm for a vase." She looked at the roses, a sad smile on her face. Then she raised her eye brows and said, "Father is both influential in the wizarding world and in the world were people are still people and ..." she hesitated, shrugged, "it was just a thought."

[Professor Ashton Laurent]

The corners of Ashton's mouth raised slightly in a humorless smile. "The room didn't cause my pain, my life caused my pain. My father caused my pain." He sighed and picked up a rose, dark red, fully opened and gently touched the velvety soft petals. "I caused my pain." he whispered as he ran his fingers down the stem. One particulary vicious thorn was sticking out like a fang and pierced his finger. Ashton pulled back his hand with a gasp, his right index finger had a small puncture wound out of which ruby red blood was dripping.

[Jac Shaw]

This was becoming too much for Jac. She glared at the stupid boy, her hair turning a fiery, angry red and it grew long and curly. "Yes," she growled like a lion, "it is your fault. You're the only one who can make you happy. You shouldn't care so much about what others think, they don't matter. In a few years you will depend on you, not them. So get over yourself and grow up."

The boy was infuriating. She couldn't stand his dependence on others’ approval and she wasn't afraid to hurt his feelings. He needed telling and who better then she. Her chest heaved up and down with a fury she had not felt in a long time. She didn't know what to do now though, she had said it and all she could manage was to stand and glare at him.

[Professor Ashton Laurent]

Ashton was at a loss for words. The girl's cruel yet truthful words stung like the tears that he was now blinking back. "No, you don't understand!" he cried. "When my mother died, giving birth to me; my father made sure that I understand that it was fault. That I killed my mother. And... I know it's not but my fault but..." Ashton let out a soft sob. "Do you have any idea how hard it is to act like like everything is effing fine, when I have a father just dying to beat the living daylights out of me, when I come home? And not being able to tell anyone about it, because he's threatened to kill me if I say a word?" Ashton drew in a shaky breath. "And then there's Maxi. I love him so much. I don't what I'd do without him, but I'm so scared... what if my father finds out and tries to hurt Maxi? I don't think I can handle that!" He looked up at Jac with pleading eyes. "Please, you have to understand. I don't want to be weak, but I don't know how to be strong. Everytime I try, my father's voice comes into my hed telling me how worthless I am. I don't know what to do anymore." His voice trailed off in a whisper.

[Jac Shaw]

Jac, face hot as her red hair reflected, glared at the boy. Human flaw, she thought, acceptance instead of doing something about it. Valunce would understand. He'd be able to help. She knew she had to harsh to help and that was something that Jac could do. She widened her stance and hung her arms at her sides, feeling her wand in her pocket.

"So you know it's not your fault that your mother died but still you beat yourself up about it," she said, an intense anger in her voice, "and I understanding right now? Because that's how it sounds. Some women just aren’t meant to give birth, death happens everyday, and we're meant to learn form them not dwell and blame.

"I might not know," she continued, "no, in fact I haven't the faintest idea how that is like. But I can tell you something that I learned from someone who blamed herself for her father's death for years, no matter how much you place blame, you can't bring them back. Your father misses your mother, simple as that, and he can't touch anyone as long as you love them and you stand up to him. No one else can do it for you. You have the strength in you, I -" she faulted, "I can tell." She held her head high. "And it sounds to me, mate, that you need a new conscience."

[Professor Ashton Laurent]

Ashton's eyes flashed angrily. "If he just misses her, then why the hell does he beat me!?" He exclaimed. "At first he said it was because of my mother, but as I've gotten older, anything can set him off, and he starts hitting me. Without reason or warning. What is that supposed to mean?" He sighed running a hand through his hair, "I... just can't stop thinking about it! Last summer, every day when I came home, he would scream at me demanding to know where I'd been, and I usually said that I was at the mall, or out walking around. Of course he didn't believe me, and he beat me for 'lying' to him. He would slap me across the face, slam a fist into my gut, grab my wrists and twist them... he'd throw me to the floor and kick me repeatedly in the stomach and sides." Ashton paused and looked up at Jac with pain-filled eyes, "The worst part was the belt." He whispered. "He had a long, black, thick leather belt that was covered with metal studs. And he would hit me with it, and... he just stood over me and laughed while I screamed and begged for him to stop."

[Jac Shaw]

Jac looked defiant and outraged. "I'm not deranged," she spat, "I can't even begin to guess but Grace did say ..." Jac began to pace, a hand to her chin, " 'it always started with small but then it became habit. Inescapable and consuming, tainting his soul with unmistakeable and irremovable evil'." She abruptly stopped, skidding to a halt, "so you see," she concluded matter of factly, "it may have started out as your father being angry at himself for losing your mother and taking it out on you and ... as I said before, it escalated from there."

Jac held a finger high in the air by her head and nodded it once with an air of finality. As he described all that he did, Jac cringed and looked away from him. Her hair turned a pale insipid brown but with another flare of anger it turned red again. "I don't care," she said angrily, "and I don't see why you do either. Such pain can be blocked by the mind, I don't see why you haven't put that into practice. You are a wizard after all, are you not?"

[Professor Ashton Laurent]

Ashton had finally had enough, here he was practically begging for help and this stupid girl had to yell at him like this and tell him that she didn't care!? "Fine!" he snarled as he jumped up and sprinted to the door. "If you don't care, then why the hell did you even bother talking to me!?" he hissed angrily. His sapphire eyes flashing, and his face flushed slightly pink with building rage. Ashton wrenched open the door and started to step out into the corridor, as he did so, he gave one last glance over his shoulder, "I hope you're happy with yourself! You finally succeeded in pushing the poor, morbid boy over the edge. Which is really what you wanted in the first place isn't it? Well guess what, how the hell am I supposed to concentrate on magic when I'm getting my bloody brains beat out!?" He paused for a moment to catch his breath, "Well done, my lady! You've officially made it onto my list of people that I can't stand, and will never talk to! Congratulations!" he hissed with a final sneer as he exited the room and slammed the door behind him.

[Jac Shaw]

Jac glared at him. This is my fault? She could not believe him. He hardly knew her and if he was willing to pull himself away from his misery and spend five minutes with Jac he would find out that Jac would burst if she cared any more. She glared at him as he went and shouted after him, "You were already over the edge, boy, but you just needed someone to wipe away the mist."

She stood alone in the room now, watched it change. She didn't care if she was on some list, it mattered little to her what other's though. But she was still upset that she had done little but revive him. The red on the walls ran down them like water leaving whitewashed walls, many windows every few feet. The sun streamed through the windows, brightening and warming the room that was now completely empty. She looked around admiring the stain-glass in a window or two and pondered thoughtfully.

She strolled slowly through the cathedral-sized empty room. The many windows were high and clean letting in fresh sunlight that shone brightly. She approached the end of the room where a single window was set into the short wall. This window was tall and colourful with the stained glass but different to the other windows. It was like a painting and moved. Jac stared at it with a skew smile on her face.

She stared at it for a long time and a glint of sharp sunshine blinked at her from below the window. It was a golden plaque, emblazed with beautiful, slanting writing. It said:

Through the Darkness
Comes the light

Jac smiled at the plaque and crossed her arms.