Thoughts of Darkness {Jac Biggerstall}

[Professor Ashton Laurent]

Ashton made his way to the seventh floor corridor, walked back and forth in front of the scetion of the wall, the required three times while thinking, I need a place to think and be alone. Preferably something with a couch in it Soon a door appeared, and Ashton walked in to see a very dark, gothic looking room. The walls were painted a blood-red so dark that only direct light would make the red visible. Black and blood-red candles flickered around the room, and in the middle of it all sat a black suede couch, and next to it, a table. And on the table was a piece of parchment, a quill, a knife, and a razor. Should Ashton choose to do what he had been thinking about. Pefect Ashton thought as he smiled darkly. He sat down on the couch, and thought. What do I have to live for? I live in an abusive home? I have no friends, and likely never will. Wait, scratch that, I have three friends. But they'd probably forget about me as well. The only person that really cares about me is Maxi. I love Maxi. How can I leave him? Easy. answered a voice in his head. And Ashton understood what he meant. He took up the parchment and quill and wrote a note.

Dear Maxi,

I am so sorry, but I just can't live like this anymore. The threats, the beatings, the self- hatred. I just can't handle it anymore. Thank you for being there for me, thank you for always being my friend, thank you for all the wonderful times we had together. Please don't blame yourself for this, this is a decision I made on my own. I love you Maxi, and I promise even in death I will alway be with you.

Love,
Ashton

Ashton folded the note lay it on the table beside him, picked up the knife, and made a slash across his arm. He smiled as the blood trickled out of his arm. Then another slash, then another. He moved to the other arm and did the same. He carved 'Maxi and Ashton Forever' into his flesh. Then he moved to his wrist, made three deep slashes, moved to the other wrist and did the same. He began to feel dizzy. His vision was blurry around the edges, and the room was spining. Tears were streaming down his face, and yet he was smiling as he stretched himself out on the couch, and passed out.

[Jac Shaw]

Jac was wondering the castle as she usually did. It was one of her favourite pastimes to just walk through the many corridors and look at the interesting paintings. By now she knew every nook and cranny of the castle and was proud of that too. Though she was a book worm, as many people knew, she was also an adventurest and was always up to no good.

However, today she was merely innocently wondering the seventh floor. She turned a corner and walked down a corridor and was suddenly struck by something out of the ordinary. A door was on the generally blank wall. She knew it was the door to the Requirements Room and was intrigued. Not hesitating or wondering about the persons privacy, Jac headed straight for the door and walked in.

She was struck by the lack of light in the room. The many candles around were dim and she didn't like it. She pulled out her wand and performed a silent spell which made the candles roar into bright light. She smiled at her accomplishment but her face fell when she was a person lying on a couch in the middle of the room with his arms bleeding. Jac ran towards him. "Oh my gosh!" she said as she crashed to her knees at his side, "oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!"

She did the first thing that came to her mind. A healing spell she had been taught by the school nurse in her second year. She pointed her wand at the wounds on his arms and silently did the incantation. It took a few tries but soon she had healed his wounds. She did another spell to soak up the blood then doused him with water to try get him to regain consciousness. She hit him on the cheeks and shook him. "Wake up!" she cried, her eyes brimming with tears.

[Professor Ashton Laurent]

Ashton was floating in darkness. He felt wonderfully light. He was vaguely aware of his surroundings. He barely felt the water being splashed on him, and the voice that was calling sounded as if was coming from a tunnel. Still it sounded urgent. What is it saying? he thought, then he realized. The voice was begging for him to wake up. Ashton moaned and stirred, and struggled to open his eyes. "Wh- Where am I?" he whispered through parched lips.

[Jac Shaw]

Jac sunk to her knees when he spoke, still holding his collar that she had been shaking him by. She hung her head and sighed in relief. "Thank Merlin!" she whispered. She then remembered what he was doing. She jumped to her feet and pulled him into a standing position by the collar.

"You," she growled, "my friend, are in the Room of Requirements." She slapped him across the face to get him more awake. "What in Merlin's name do you think you were doing?" She couldn't believe that someone could sink to that kind of level and not tell friends, not tell anyone.

[Professor Ashton Laurent]

Ashton flinched when she slapped him. "I don't know." He whispered, wiping away the tears that were leaking out of his eyes. He looked at the note on the table, then back at her. "What reason do I have to live anymore?" He whispered as he sank back down onto the couch and looked back up at her with haunted eyes.

[Jac Shaw]

Jac stared open mouthed at the Ravenclaw. She let his collar side out of her hands as he sank back onto the couch. She knelt next to him and put a hand on his leg, and whispered kindly. "what don't you have to live for? You're young and good looking, you don't need anyone else. So why this?" She held up a hand and indicated everything around them.

[Professor Ashton Laurent]

Ashton shrugged. "I just like the feel. It's calm, relaxing. Helps me think." He stood and walked over to the table, he picked up the note, walked back over to the couch, opened it, and began to read. He looked up from his reading, "And what does it matter that I'm young and good-looking? No one wants to be near me anyway..."

[Jac Shaw]

Jac frowned. She had never met such an unhappy person before and it made her want to help him see the brighter side of things. She watched him carefully as he retrieved a letter from a table nearby. When he sat back down, she sat next to him. "Heck, I'm near you!" she said, looking at him sideways.

[Professor Ashton Laurent]

Ashton glared. "You know what I mean." He whispered, not in the mood for games. "How can I go on living when my life has no meaning? What's the point? The only person who cares about me is Maxi."

[Jac Shaw]

Jac smiled and snorted a laugh. She knew what he meant but jokes were easier for her to handle. She looked at her hands, which were knotted on her lap. She wasn't sure what she could say tto help but she wanted to help. She had to. "You give your life meaning," she said slowly, "it doesn't depend on others, you make your own luck and your own happiness."

She slowly looked up and smiled at the Ravenclaw. "And now you've got me," she smiled at him, "I'm Jac by the way, your new friend." He held out a hand and her hair became streaked with autumn colours. She was showing off in the attempt to get him to smile, she hoped it would work.

[Professor Ashton Laurent]

Ashton managed a weak smile, but his mind was still in turmoil. "How can I be happy when I'm living with a father who ridicules and beats me on a daily basis?" He whispered looking Jac in the eye. He sighed. "I just don't know how to get out of this nightmare. I'm not old enough to move out, and if I try to run away, he'll just hunt me down and drag me back. That's already happened twice."

[Jac Shaw]

Jac sighed and cupped her hands around her cheeks. This really wasn't her area of expertise. She was the clown that could make people laugh. Abuse and sadness was not her thing. She sighed heavily again and said, "at least your at Hogwarts for ten months out of the year and I'm sure if you arrange to go to friends' houses more often then your at home ... that should work, shouldn't it?"

She frowned at him again. She really didn't know what to say. She rubbed her face and mumbled, "you should speak to Grace." She didn't know why she said it but she then realised that Grace was her reference to all things difficult, sad and painful. Jac had lived a very sheltered life from all hardships. She had to introduce the two. And Grace was also understanding and helpful, unlike Jac at this moment.

[Professor Ashton Laurent]

Ashton sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I may be at Hogwarts for ten months out of the year, but I still get letters telling me how useless and worthless I am. And when I'm home, I'm not even allowed to leave the house without his permission. If I disobey he beats me with a black leather belt covered with metal studs. I'm a prisoner in my own house."

[Jac Shaw]

Jac frowned. "I wouldn't read the letters," she said, shaking her head, her hair becoming longer. "I'd just throw them away. Not even break the seal." She rubbed her hands together, glancing around the morbid room. It was getting her down. She had to change it somehow.

She stood up and walked to a wall. There was no curtain but she put a hand on the wall. How was she to shed a little light she didn't know. She walked around the room, running her hand on the blood red wall and searched for some sort of curtain or opening. "I could always get my father to help you out," she said, "I'm sure your father wouldn't do anything to mine." She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye and nodded. "Father's a very influential man, I'm sure he could help."

[Professor Ashton Laurent]

Ashton shook his head. "Your father is influential in the wizarding world, not the muggle world." he replied dejectedly. He looked around the room. "And if you're trying to change the room, please don't. I didn't ask the room to make it this way because I was suicidal, I wanted it this way because this is how my room is at home, and I wanted something familiar to surround myself with. Except I usually have black or red roses in my room... So, I didn't do this because I was suicidal, it's just a reflection of who I am." He managed a small chuckle. "I guess you could say I'm goth or emo or whatever. But the strange thing is, the look actually works for me. I mean, I can't imagine myself any other way than this." Ashton looked up at Jac. "You understand that, don't you?"