My Wand has been Stolen!

[Cashew Dumbledorable]

((OOC: From 'Cashew Has Lost her Wand' in the infirmary and tied to Kiss My Ass Algernon and Finally Accio Doom.))

Cashew burst in to the teacher's lounge, her satchel of super effective potions slung over her thin and aesthetically mastered shoulder. "Professors! My wand has been stolen! For what purposes I do not know but they are surely many and nefarious! We must rally the faculty and challenge this menace who may or may not be in league with the phantom in the forest! At once!" the hogwarts healer cried all at once, her numerous hand blown vials clinking expensively in her wake. It took her several moments to realize that no one was currently in the staff room, though she heard footsteps behind her.

"Thwarted again," she groaned, tossing her luxurious and full head of hair side to side in extreme distress. Cashew turned to leave and repeat this speech for whoever it was that was about to enter. Perhaps it was the fiend who had stolen her excellent magic-making wand. Deftly reaching in to her knapsack for the 'potion of miniatures' she decided to she was prepared at last to punish the delinquents once and for all. Getting ahead of herself, the healer lunged forward and tore the door open, coming face to face with the person approaching the door. On a shrill, but still pleasant note, Dumbledorable in battle call cries,

"Cashew comes for you!"

[Prof. Algernon Moncrieff]

Algernon dropped the large book he was carrying with an alarmed gasp, followed by a swear as the book landed on his foot. He gathered up the book, glaring angrily at the strange woman. "I don't particularly like cashews." He told her coldly, having no idea what she was talking about. But it didn't matter, he was busy, and he had to figure out what had happened to his wand. It had just been... tugged out of his hand! If Rainer's boyfriend, he thought nastily, had had the power to do that he would have long ago, for sure. So... the comet had made him stronger. Or made something else stronger... bitting his lip, he brushed past the annoying woman and sat down on one of the couches, opening the book curtly, with a last dismissive look toward her.

[Cashew Dumbledorable]

Cashew knew better than to be insulted. Many feel threatened in the presence of tremendous power and beauty. This healer was used to it by now and, with her eyes twinkling merrily, she resumed her search for her wand by peering most delicately under Algernon's chair, in a nearby cupboard and finally under his book. This, of course, only seemed to worsen his mood.

[Prof. Algernon Moncrieff]

Algernon clasped the book to his chest, looking up at the woman in alarm. "This book in over 300 years old!" He informed her indignantly.

[Cashew Dumbledorable]

"Well, it is a very large book and I thought perhaps you were the ungodly cretin who had stolen my most magical wand. Have you seen it, Professor French," she eyed him warily, potion still in hand.

Understatments: Cashew was just a little racist.

Leering down at him imperiously, Dumbledorable did not notice her potion dribble out on to Algernon's book, splattering the most crucial of passages and thus miniaturizing the leatherbound volume--- essentially ruining it. A little book the size of a matchbook fell to Algernon's lap and Cashew gasped.

Cashew adores antiques.

[Prof. Algernon Moncrieff]

Algernon shreaked in a manner more feminine than he would have liked.


"My--! My--! My book!" He exclaimed, looking from it to her disbelievingly. "You, you! Fix this! Now!"

[Cashew Dumbledorable]

"Oh yes, of course," she cried in delight (it was a very dainty book and she decided she would forever after miniatruize her own ample library) and stuffed her expertly manicured hand in to the fabulous leather knapsack, procuring a most abundant tonic of a purple as royal as any sunset. Cashew loved sunsets and thus many of her potions were colored in necessary shades. Leaning over Algernon, her sizeable and perfectly shaped bosom looming dangerously close to his stubbled cheek, Casher poured an excess of the rich puple potion over his lap, soaking his trousers and transfiguring, quite suddenly, his book in to a most fine loaf of french bread.

"Oh dear," she cried, "that is not what we wanted at all though I know your people do enjoy their baguettes. It is not a total loss?" Cashew pondered this and remarked finally, "at the very least it is safe in this form. Indestructible in fact and perfectly camoflouged when held by a french such as yourself." Cashew smiled warmly.

[Prof. Algernon Moncrieff]

At this point, Algernon could not say anything at all. He stared at Cashew in wonder, wondering where this woman had come from and what he had possibly done to deserve it. He had done nothing so awful as of late, he was sure of it.


Finally, he managed to stutter out a few words.

"My... my pants."

[Cashew Dumbledorable]

As Cashew prepared the correct panecea to reverse all the previous castings (and additionally give Algernon the power to walk through walls and gain the affection of all attractive men) she noticed sparks fly up from the lawn and lake of hogwarts most magnificent campus. She recalled suddenly that her wand at flown off in that direction and decided that these distress flares were surely connected.


It was women's intuition she decided and took off, without another word to Algernon, towards the corridor and the thieves who surely lay beyond it.

[Prof. Algernon Moncrieff]

At Cashew's flight, Algernon broke out of his horrified state. "Hey... Hey!" He stood up, clutching his baggette. "You... My book! My pants! My... baggette!" He took off running after her, slowed slightly by his gradully tightening pants. The potion had other effects, it would seem.


(On to the 'Sunbathing!' thead!)