[Hogsmeade] throw it away, forget yesterday

[Kieran Davies]

The two of them sat in silence on the couch. He had his head flung back, his eyes looking at the ceiling and still twiddling his wand letting the little red sparks fly out of it. The silence seemed to span out, yet everything was much more loud, the fizzle of the sparks at the tip of his wand seemed louder, his heartbeat thundered in his ears and his breathing seemed as though he was breathing extremely heavily, though he wasn’t. Give him a noisy crowded room any day.

He began thinking of all the different things he could be doing right now, anything to keep his mind from wandering. He could be in the common room pouring over the endless amount of NEWT Homework he had left, or he could be in Club Motion helping his cousin out. He could be practising Quidditch, he could even simply just be sat by the fire. He imagined each one of these in vast detail as the seconds slipped by, followed by minutes. Neither one breaking the unbearable silence. Drop a pin in here, and he was sure it would cause an echo.

Sometimes, when he would fall asleep at night he would dream about things. He would be away from here, somewhere far far away, away from the castle and everyone in it. He was always older, slightly older, mid to late twenties or something like that. He was on a beach somewhere, the white sand and the clear blue ocean. He didn’t know what his life was like in the dream, it was always different, but in a way it was always the same. He was happy, he knew that much. He barely had a care in the world. He was wandering barefoot over the hot sand, making his way to the water’s edge. There was something, no, someone on his back. A child, three, maybe four years old. Yet he couldn’t be sure if the child was his, or whether it was just a family member. Either way, he knew the feeling that this childs happiness was all that mattered and felt a need to protect the child. They got to the water, and as soon as his feet touched the ocean, he woke up… it always stopped.

”What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked, talk about vague. Their eyes locked for a moment before she jumped up and left the couch, facing the door like a naughty school child. He cocked his head to the side, a little confused by what she had said. He was glued, or so it seemed, to the couch, he couldn’t move. Too stunned. Though when she spoke again, Kieran couldn’t help but let a laugh escape. ”Yeah, imagine that. Me? Worrying! I never worry…” Not altogether true though, even Kieran had his worries occasionally.

Somehow, he managed to stand up from his place on the couch. Though once stood up he didn’t quite know what to do yet. He took a few moments before slowly and carefully walking up behind her. Looks like he was making the first step again, but this time quite literally. He was stood now inches away from her, behind her but still, he was close. Closer than the two of them had been nearly all day. Apart from their few mishaps this was the only purposely close encounter, so to speak. ”Fay.. What did you mean?”

[Felicity Locke]

Silence was a horrible thing sometimes. Felicity was almost sure anyone could hear the rapid beating of her heart. Every time she shifted position, it seemed too loud. Kieran wasn’t helping really, just staring at his wand and saying nothing more. Fay followed his example and leaned her head back to stare at the ceiling. Christi wasn’t going to let them out any time soon, that was for sure.

Felicity allowed her mind to wander, to whatever topic met her fancy. For a moment, she allowed her thoughts to linger on her fight with Bray and Ellie, though after a moment, she winced and sat back up. Fay leaned forward and rested her elbows on her legs, while she covered her face with her hands. Sighing, she dragged her hands down across her face and moved to cup one hand around her neck. “This is getting us no where.”

Bray and Fay would often joke how she would be the crazy aunt of his children, because she wouldn’t be married. ‘You’re too crazy for anyone to handle Fay.’ She laughed it off at first, but it had her thinking. What if she did end up like that? The crazy lady with ten cats. Felicity didn’t want it to happen. She always wanted a family. A few children, loving husband, comfortable home type of thing. Fay wasn’t exactly sure if she would be the best kind of mother, but it didn’t hurt to wish right?

Alright, so when she was nervous she didn’t make sense. She didn’t respond when he spoke again. Felicity glanced up at him for a moment, but when she met his gaze she leaped off the couch. It was on impulse. Like a fight or flight reflex or something. And so she leaned against the wall, one hand clasped on her other arm while she refused to meet his gaze. Fay could feel him staring at her—probably thinking she was crazy.

“Everyone worries at some point. Just some more than others.”

Felicity glanced over at him once she heard him stand, but he hadn’t moved from the spot yet. She quickly looked away and waited for him to sit back down, almost wishing he would’ve just forgotten the whole thing. But, he didn’t. Kieran crossed the room to where she was standing, close enough where he could only whisper and she would hear him. And then he spoke, voicing his confusion.

With those few words, she was suddenly frustrated with herself. Felicity spun around to face him and tilted her head back to look up at his face. “At the lake I didn’t believe you because people always say nonsense when they’re charmed—don’t interrupt—so I blew it off as such. You have no idea how hard it was to admit to myself that you had been lying and I tried to move on.” She leaned back a little, losing a bit of her steam. “But you promised me that it was true, and somehow I couldn’t deny that.”

Felicity paced away, groaning in frustration. “I always expected to just see you with someone else—I honestly wouldn’t blame you. But now here you are, saying the same thing you did before, and I can’t even say the right thing and you probably think I’m crazy.” She pressed her palm against her forehead and sighed. “I feel the same way alright?” Fay turned around to face him again. “The same exact damn way as you do.”

[Kieran Davies]

His mind wandered to Fay’s mum, wondering what she could possibly hope to achieve by locking them in the back of Honeydukes. The two were teenagers and they had a bit of a problem. Though Kieran was sure they’d have been able to figure it out eventually, throwing kids in a room was just not a good thing to do, it usually added more pressure and hell, Kieran was feeling pressure right now. The silence didn’t help, but his brain was blank and he had no idea what to say. Hey, good day for a walk in the park? Nice weather… Small talk didn’t really cut it right now.

Silence was good in a way, it enabled him to think. Though that could be bad all at the same time. Kieran was careful with his thoughts, trying not to allow them to wander back to Fay. Even though he would admit he was curious to know what she was thinking right now. Fay was a complete mystery to him half the time. Sometimes when he was around her, it was like she was talking to him in riddles. A lot of the time Kieran didn’t quite understand what she rambled about. She was always keeping him on his toes, doing things he wouldn’t expect and constantly surprising him. There was never a dull moment with her and part of him wondered if that’s what had begun his infatuation with her, his feelings. She was interesting to him and not many people were. She sometimes scared him to death, other times made his sides split from laughing. ”No, you’re right it’s not.”

He knew he was one of the few who wondered at the future, though he had no immediate plans for it. He knew at some point he would like a reasonably luxurious home, somewhere quiet with a lot of grass… and trees. In the country somewhere near a beach. Maybe in a nice little town with funny old people. He thought about kids but at seventeen his instant reaction to those were ‘ugh.. No thank you.’ Though he wasn’t fool to believe he wouldn’t ever want kids, he had his whole future to think of that. What mattered was here and now.

Watching her with a slightly bemused expression as she jumped away from him, Kieran raised his eyebrows in question though looked away from her. If this wasn’t so awkward he would consider it kinda nice. Though it was awkward. Back in the day Kieran and Fay could sit for hours without speaking, completely comfortable with each other. Now they shied away, avoided each others gaze and felt completely uncomfy when the room was silent. What had happened to them?

”Yeah, I know. Though worry is a fairly new concept to me. I tend to avoid it if I can.” As he stood up, he saw her glance to him and it made him freeze. His heart seemed to stop briefly in his chest before thumping hard against his ribcage he thought it might actually burst out of him. When she looked away, he crossed the room so he was stood only inches away from her. She still wasn’t looking at him, his arm twitched as though it wanted to move, to wrap around her but he forced it to stay put. Now was not the time to get caught up in stupid things.

She spun round and looked up at him, her hair trailing around her face, it made him step back a little, but only slightly. A strand of hair was dangling in her face, he had to resist putting it back. He listened as she spoke, flailing arms to go along with it showing her emphasis on certain words. Slight frustration was there too, it was about time she vented. ”Yeah but I wasn’t--” At this point she told him not to interrupt and he quickly shut his mouth, his eyes falling to the floor. She knew him too well and sometimes that was the problem. ”Wait, so let me get this straight. Even though you knew I was telling the truth at the lake you still wanted to believe, you tried to believe I was lying to you? After all that, you were the one who was trying to deny what I said even though you knew I meant it? Why? Why lie to yourself? Why couldn’t you just give in and admit maybe someone out there actually does like you for who you are? Not what you look like or what you are?” It seemed to be his turn to vent now, ”A lot of guy sure would love to have a Veela on his arm. Most guys are arrogant like that but I don’t give a damn that you’re a Veela, I don’t care that you’re one of the most beautiful girls in the school none of that even matters. You’re who you are, you’re Fay! Caring, kind, sweet… kinda crazy sometimes sure but hey, I can live with that. I like you for you. As hard as that may be to believe.” Kieran looked at her and nodded his head. He had promised her it was the truth, even now what he said was the truth. Okay, her looks did initially attract him to her, but after a while it didn’t matter. She was one of the best people in the school in his opinion.

He turned and watched her walk away, groaning with frustration as she went. Kieran turned and rolled his eyes. It seemed they were going around in circles, they would never get anywhere like this. Though, she began to speak again, he expected denials, he expected her to say he couldn’t like her… but she didn’t. Surprised him again. ”Yeah, I think you’re crazy. I always have thought you were crazy but in a good way. The way that makes me laugh and smile and actually give me a reason to wake up in the morning when its pouring down with rain outside.” He let out a long sigh. How could she think after everything he said on the lake that he would just get up and go with another girl? Even he wasn’t that shallow and it hurt a little to hear that maybe she thought he was that shallow. ”What?” He spun, hearing her last sentence though was sure he had misheard. His heart raced slightly, his mind spun and all he could do was stand there, open mouthed gawping at her like an idiot. After a few minutes he composed himself. ”Was it really that difficult to admit?” His face was lit up, he had a wide grin, a very Kieran-like grin as he strode over to Fay. He placed his hands on her shoulders and looked at her, trying to work out whether she meant it, or she just said it to shut him up. However, the look in her eyes said she meant it. ”Felicity Locke you are so much hard work sometimes.” He gave a laugh, added a ‘come ‘ere’ and picked her up in the first hug they had had in a very very long time. Spinning her around as he went. As he put her down, he placed a kiss on her forehead, ”The very same exact way?” He asked, just to confirm he had heard it right and it wasn’t his mind just wishful thinking. His voice was a lot chirpier and his grin remained fixed. Broken, then fixed. By the very same person. Strange how life sometimes works, isn’t it?

[Felicity Locke]

Christi was a bit crazy, but she did mean well. After that incident at the lake, Felicity had ranted to her mother—releasing all of her bent up frustration. Her mother told her what any mother would, that he liked her because she was her. As much as she wished for it, Fay couldn’t accept it. That was part of the reason she avoided seeing her mother for so long—she was afraid of her mother being disappointed. And that was also why Christi jumped on the chance to stick the two together to figure out their problems. Not exactly the best impression of Felicity’s mum.

Felicity’s thoughts were always plain on her face, or so she thought. She always assumed that’s why Bray knew what she was going to do before she did it. But that could just be because they’ve known each other for so long. It was rather different when she spoke to Kieran. He honestly listened to what she had to say, even if he didn’t understand it. And he had that weird way of taking her mind off of her worries and telling her to loosen up. How else do you think he managed to get her to go ice skating?

“Really? I wasn’t aware.” She muttered sarcastically with a roll of her eyes. “You need someone to worry for you.” Felicity couldn’t resist glancing back at him to see his expression, but he just stared back at her. Her cheeks colored and she looked away with a snap of her head, allowing her hair to block him from her view. Thank goodness for thick hair.

Felicity couldn’t help but wave her arms for emphasis—once she even smacked his shoulder to prove a point. It was either that or punch the wall, which wasn’t really good for her or the wall. “I didn’t—” But Kieran cut her off and kept talking. She opened her mouth to respond every few seconds, but it was his turn to vent now. ‘A lot of guy sure would love to have a Veela on his arm.’ That statement had her clenching her jaw, her hand curling into a fist like she was ready to just sock him.

But Kieran’s next statement made up for the anger that was quickly leaving her. He seemed certain of what he said, and sincerity rang with every word. “You sure know how to leave a person speechless.” She muttered as her cheeks flamed from the compliments. Though she didn’t deny his feelings, much like she had before. He wasn’t charmed, and the way he spoke made it hard for her to argue.

‘What?’

Against her better judgment, Fay glanced up at Kieran to see his face. All she could see was shock, which didn’t exactly help her anxiety to subside. She didn’t say anything as he worked to compose himself, but what he did next surprised her. A very large, famous Kieran grin spread over his once sorrow-ridden face. “If it was easy to say then we wouldn’t be here now would we?” She muttered, rolling her eyes at him. “I beg your pardon—” But she was cut off by Kieran crushing her into a hug then twirling her in a circle. Laughing, she curled her arms around his neck, and kept them there after he set her down.

“The very exact.” Fay moved her arms to wrap around his torso. Hesitantly, she rested her head against his chest and laughed. “Your heart’s beating a mile a minute.” Was it possible to go from denial to blissfully happy? Apparently. Felicity couldn’t keep the smile from her face, as opposed to the two of them sitting on the couch acting all serious.

“I don’t think Christi is going to let us out any time soon though. This room is basically sound proof.” She leaned back to look up at him. “Sorry, your plans for today are probably going to be shot now. You’ll have to spend the rest of the day with me.”

[Kieran Davies]

Kieran put on a face as though this was bothering him, being locked in a room with Fay during this quite difficult part of their lives. Though if he was honest with himself, it didn’t bother him in the slightest. True, you could cut the tension in the air with a blunt butter knife but even so, Kieran couldn’t help but feel a little bit happy at the fact he was able to spend some time with her again, even if it was forced by her mother. Kieran would have to thank Christi for this if it worked and got Fay talking to him again.

He couldn’t read Fay, he had no idea what she planned to do from one minute to the next. She was a complete mystery to him half the time but maybe part of it was down to him being slightly unobservant. Sometimes he wished he could figure her out, it would make her a little easier to understand. Though, at the same time he was glad he couldn’t figure her out. She never did what he expected and he liked being surprised by her. Everytime he thought he knew her, or had her figured out. He soon realised that he was no closer to figuring her out than he was of understanding the way Slytherin’s thought.

”Naw, I don’t need anyone worrying about me.” He smiled and stretched, before looking at her as she turned to look a him. As she snapped her head away, Kieran saw a faint rush of colour to her face but, not wanting to embarrass her further, he said nothing about it and pretended as though he hadn’t even noticed. It was easy to pretend to be oblivious to things when you spent half your time just skimming over things.

Kieran’s eyes watched her arms carefully as they flailed around, watching for anything that may yell at him to jump out of the way before she gave him a serious injury. Wouldn’t be the first time she had physically hurt him afterall. He grimaced slightly as he thought back to that, probably not the best memory to dredge up right now. Once Fay had stopped venting, Kieran found himself talking, rather fast and his voice had a slight edge to it, kind of an edge that says ‘for once just listen and trust me.’ He watched her face though as he spoke, and saw her jaw clench, but he didn’t stop venting, he couldn’t stop venting, even though his mind was telling him to get off his high horse.

”Nope, I guess we wouldn’t.” His grin continued, but he couldn’t work out what was going through Fay’s mind right about now. He hoped she didn’t just say that to make him feel better, though he shrugged that thought away as soon as it came. He knew Fay wasn’t that shallow and he knew she wouldn’t do something like that, especially when it would just get his hopes up. When he hugged her and spun her around, he was chuffed to see she didn’t fight back or try to get him off her, instead she wrapped his arms around his neck and clung on. When he stopped and put her back down, she kept her arms around his neck, as he wrapped his gently around her waist. His big Kieran-ish grin was not moving from his face as he looked down at her. ”Woo… dizzy.” He laughed to himself as his head took a turn for the west, though luckily he didn’t stumble or fall.

”You have absolutely no idea how good that feels to hear you say that.” He whispered, though just loud enough so she would hear him. He watched as she removed her arms from his neck and wrapped them around his torso. He didn’t need to hear what she said next, he could feel it. His heart hammering rapidly against his chest, so fast he didn’t think it was healthy at all but he ignored it. He gave a smile when the cheesiest thought came to his mind, but decided not to share it. ”Well its been through a great lot this lil’ heart of mine. Especially today.” He laughed, removing one hand from her waist, he gently tucked a piece of hair back behind her ear, tilting his own head to the side and wondering when he was going to wake up from this dream. He hoped he never would.

”Oh dang! My plans of a great escape are ruined now, whatever shall I do?” His tone was sarcastic, but the smile on his face showed he was joking. Kieran didn’t mind being stuck in this room with her, any contact was better than none in his opinion. Though now, he couldn’t think of anywhere he would rather be. Today he had woken up and wondered whether it was even worth getting out of bed, and now he soon realised, it was more than worth it. ”That’s sooo tragic that I have to spend the rest of the day, locked inside a soundproof room with you.” He rolled his eyes, ”I think I can handle it. Besides, spending the rest of the day with you, doesn’t sound all that bad. Sounds pretty fun to me.”

[Felicity Locke]

He wouldn’t stop smiling, Felicity was almost certain his cheeks would explode from it. Chuckling at the thought, Fay overlooked the fact that in most instances she would’ve been having a spasm if someone picked her up. Now was really not the time to be worrying over something as trifle as that. “Dizzy is right.” She muttered, moving one of her hands to press it against the side of her head. “A bit too fast there.” Lucky for her, Kieran’s arms kept her stable enough until the room stopped spinning and the dark walls settled back in place.

“I think I can imagine.” Felicity hid her face as she pressed it against his shirt. His heart was beating a steady rhythm, though quickened to a speed that wasn’t all together normal. “Well tell it I’m sorry then.” She tipped her head back to look up at him. The movement allowed stray hairs to fall across her face, which Kieran soon pushed back behind her ear.

“Like you could escape here. Honestly, this room has to be reinforced with steel or something.” Felicity cast a critical gaze around the room, not exactly putting it past her mother to do something like that. Christi was all about extremes, as almost everyone knew. Speaking of Christi, where was that chocolate she promised eh? There wasn’t any food in this room at all. “Your sarcasm isn’t appreciated Kieran.” Fay leaned back—untangling herself from his grasp—and smacked his shoulder.

Now let’s look at the irony of the situation. A few years earlier, Kieran’s name would’ve brought a scowl to the young girl’s face as she reminisced about the oh-so famous bum-slap. And now here they were, oddly enough. What would Bray say? Better yet, what would Ollie say? He had to hold a grudge on her or something for putting his best friend in such a dreary mood. A grimace momentarily crossed her face at the thought. Well, she would cross that bridge when the time came.

“We have to figure out something to do first.” She muttered, glancing around the room with her hands on her hips. Felicity’s lips pursed—as they so often did when she was thinking. The only thing in the room besides the couch and the chairs was a small coffee table. Shrugging lightly, Fay navigated her way past the chairs to flop onto the couch. “But for the moment, sitting down and relaxing sounds brilliant.” Patting the seat next to her, Felicity grinned up at Kieran. Perhaps they could chat about topics less anxiety-ridden than the ones discussed before. “So whatcha wanna talk about?” Insert annoying voice here.